Looking for the mouse of a new generation? Check out engadget and their feature on the M2000 Travel Air-Mouse. It’s designed for lefties, righties, and anyone who has had enough with flat surfaces. The M2000 can function in the air while in the air, so don’t get too carried away with the flailing arm motions.

The M2000 is scheduled for official release in early ’08, and it should run you around $70.

Gadling ran a story yesterday that seems part folk tale, part good old Russian propaganda, and all a little crazy: According to some Russian news sources, a Russian boy survived an 800 mile flight while clinging to the wing of an airplane. However, as Gadling is quick to point out, that just doesn’t seem quite possible. They’re also quick to point out that the Moscow Times reported that the boy stowed away in the plane’s wheel well. The boy is recovering, and the reports from the Russian media are still mixed.

Either way, it’s another in a long line of strange Russian air travel stories (drunk flight attendants anyone?).

In the days of TiVo, online entertainment, and video games, it’s getting harder for advertisers to reach their chosen demographics. You can fast forward right through those commercials and laugh off those terrible product placement shots. But when you’re taking off in an airplane, can you stop yourself from looking down? Some crafty ad types are betting you can’t.

As reported by MSNBC, many of the world’s largest airports will see giant ads placed along the runway, and we air travelers will have no choice but to do as they say. At least we’ll finally have something to look at when we’re taking off. I mean, who wants to sit back and appreciate the fusion of technology and nature as the aircraft rises up over verdant woods and heads into a clear blue sky? Not me. I want people to sell me stuff.

This summer’s airline delays, cancellations, and tarmac strandings made it onto the 19th season premiere of The Simpsons last night. Titled, “He Loves To Fly And He D’ohs,” the episode sees Homer plagued with the all-too-common hassles of commercial air travel. However, in a stroke of luck, he gets to leave coach behind and jet off to the Windy City aboard Mr. Burns’ private jet. The jet comes complete with an attractive flight attendant, sushi, and Lionel Ritchie. The flight is so good, that Homer can’t bear to deplane. Upon his return home, he dedicates himself to finding a job that will allow him to fly only on private jets, and with the help of a lifecoach (played by Virgin America superstar, Steven Colbert), he comes close.

If an animated private jet can make me long for luxury travel, what could a real private jet do? To find out, I checked out Forbes’ Priciest Private Planes. It gives you a chance to see how the real life Mr. Burnses live (I’m sure not all of them are evil). After reading the article and looking at the photos, I am convinced that the only way I can truly write about commercial flying is to give it up and fly only on private jets. I haven’t heard back from my boss on it yet, but I’m pretty sure he’ll see where I’m coming from.

Let’s be honest, it’s a germ-filled world out there for us travelers, and sometimes taking a quick shot of airborne won’t do the trick. For those of you who want a little more protection from those horrible little microbes, there’s the Zadro Nano:

“If you’re concerned about germs on a hotel telephone, in an airport bathroom or at a restaurant table, zap them with the Zadro Nano ($79.99). It uses ultraviolet light to disinfect any surface in about 10 seconds, making it 99 percent germ-free.”

I am, by no means, an expert on ultraviolet light technology, but the Zadro Nano made it on to MSNBC’s 20 Great Travel Gadgets and there are claims that the Zadro Nano has been proven to combat a range of bacteria and viruses including:

“Bacteria: Escherichia Coli (E-Coli), Staphylococcus albus, Staphylococcus aureus, Salmonella, B. Parathphosus, Corynebacterium diphtheriae, Ebertbella typhosa, Dysentery bacili, Streptococcus hemolyticus and many others. Viruses: MS2 and H5N1 viruses”

So there you have it. There might finally be a product out there for the germaphobe inside us all.

There’s a great post on gridskipper highlighting a protest by passenger rights activists that took place in DC. With Congress starting to consider considering a move on a Passengers’ Bill of Rights, people wanted legislators to see up close just how bad things could get on the tarmac. A recording of a wailing baby and general seating discomfort highlighted the demonstration.

New York has tried to enact their own bill for air passengers and the EU has policies in place that attempt to make the airlines take some responsibility for flight delays and cancellations, but neither have had the effect travelers hoped for. Congress’ actions could put an end to those seemingly endless stays on the tarmac in which passengers are stranded, unable to get off the plane, and often left without food or drink. However, we’re still a long way away from anything resembling a true Passengers Bill of Rights.

For those of us who have grown to love Southwest Airline’s first-come/first-serve open seating ways, things almost turned ugly today. Southwest had been considering doing away with open seating in favor of a more traditional seating policy.

I have to admit, I was a little bummed when I heard things might go the other way, but my fellow Standard Uprighter, Anne, told me she was always annoyed by how you had to sit on the floor and stake your claim if you wanted a decent seat (even if you were in Group A or B). Well, Southwest has found a solution that pleases us both. They are maintaining an open seating policy, but there’s no more sitting on the ground or slyly using your laptop to hold your place in line . The Group structure is still in place, but now you will get a number (a place in line, if you will) to go along with it:

Starting in early November, customers of Southwest Airlines Co. will be assigned a letter-number combination on their boarding passes, which will reserve their spot in their boarding group. According to a Southwest statement, ‘when a gate agent calls a boarding group, passengers will take their place in their numerical order.’ (From MSNBC)

Part of me will miss the “free-for-all” that was boarding a Southwest plane in the past, but this seems like a move that will keep both SW die-hards and airline traditionalists happy…at least for a little while anyway.

In what sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, famed TV animal guy Jack Hannah got trapped in a security turnstile with an 11 month-old Flamingo while escorting the bird (and other animals) through a closed terminal at Ohio State University Airport. Said, Hannah:

“I never thought about the crate being square and the turnstile being round…I was stuck like a worm. My eyes were as big as grapefruits…I can’t describe the feeling in my stomach. I can’t move up or down. The bars are on your face.” (From MSNBC)

Hannah eventually broke free and went for help. Through the efforts of three firefighters, the flamingo was hoisted out of the turnstile.

Both Bird and Hannah are doing fine.

A wise man once said, “You gotta know when to hold ‘em. Know when to fold ‘em. Know when to walk away, and know when to run…” Good rules to live by. Unless, of course, you’re playing poker on a plane.

You finally have the chance to show your fellow passengers what the game of Texas Hold’em is all about. On certain flights (mainly non-stop flights flying across the country), Delta now offers interactive poker (and other on-demand games). You can play with other fliers, and since they can’t see the look of fear in your eye, you should be able to bluff all day long.

It sounds perfect for poker lovers and bored travelers everywhere. But I am afraid that as we speak, a lazy TV exec is pitching “Celebrity Airplane Poker,” and a group of college kids is planning to “take it all off” in what will be their fraternity’s first annual mile-high strip poker tournament.

Last week while flying to Philadelphia and back, I got to take advantage of the Polaroid PDM-1058 Portable DVD Player. I loved it. It made my flights more bearable than I imagined they could be. I got a great picture on the 10″screen (better than other portables I’ve used), which rotates and collapses, so I could get comfortable and watch even on my cramped flight home. Now, I know a lot of folks just watch movies on their computers on the plane, but the Polaroid 1058 is much lighter, easier to carry, and far cheaper (about $175) than the average computer. It also plugs easily into your TV at home, so it can serve as the perfect DVD player for a bedroom, guest room, or anywhere else. Oh, and most importantly, unlike when you bring the old laptop on board, with the DVD player, you will never be tempted to do actual work while in the air.

On my flight home, I was able to block out the chaos and take my first look at the TV phenomenon that is Heroes, and I must say, I was a little disappointed when the plane landed and I had to stop watching. Never thought I’d actually be mad to have get off a plane. If only I could have stopped time…

Want to get in some good practice for sleeping on planes?

Try Motherhood.

Surveys show that economy travelers on overnight flights get about 3-hours of sleep (and business and first-class flyers don’t do much better, with about 4-hours).

Well, consider them lucky. The lovely Travel Diva points out that new mothers get about 3-and-a-half hours sleep a night and thats all they get, EVERY night for about 4-months!

One big reason: all those new-fangled baby gadgets like monitors that keep moms alert to their wee ones every little gurgle and coo. And apparently, only moms can hear these monitors; many new dads say they get their normal sleep hours in.

[Things get better after 4-months: I know one couple that used to play dead when baby noises would start coming over the monitor, hoping my husband the other party would crack and go to the baby first].

Anyway, so you don’t get much sleep on a plane? Oh, don’t be such a baby!

Ever since the TSA set forth their policy regarding liquids on planes (the 3-1-1 rule, if you like), travelers have been annoyed, and questions have surrounded the whole affair. Is the rule arbitrary? What are the reasons for it? Is the TSA in cahoots with the makers of tiny bottles? Why on Earth do I have to pour shampoo from one bottle into another like I’m “marrying” ketchups back at that horrible restaurant I worked in during college?

All important questions.

As an intrepid reporter, I wanted to find the answers, so I went to the only place I thought could give them to me: Bed Bath & Beyond. OK, so maybe Bed Bath & Beyond couldn’t tell me if there was a vast conspiracy involving the TSA, our deficit with the Chinese, and makers of fine shampoos, but the retailer has just made it easier for travelers to meet TSA regulations. In a stroke of marketing genius, they’re offering a package that contains 15 bottles of assorted shapes (all meeting the 3 oz. requirement) for your shampoo, conditioner, hairspray, gel, perfume, etc. The package even comes in a handy 1 qt. zip-top bag, which also meets the TSA’s requirements.

But that’s not all. One of the managers at my local Bed Bath & Beyond was kind enough to show me an entire section of products that the store has recently labeled as ‘approved for travel.’ And that’s not some sort of metaphorical label, you’ll see an ‘approved for travel’ sign right there on the bin. They have most everything you would ever need for travel purposes right there in the tiny little containers. Many of the products are available for $.99 to $5.00. Hmmm, maybe somebody is in cahoots with the TSA, after all. Were the sellers of fragrant conditioners and lime green trashcans in on all of this? I had to dig deeper.

Unfortunately, I left BBB knowing little more about the reasons behind rule 3-1-1 than when I walked in. But I did get some travel bottles and a lovely throw pillow for the couch. Luckily, those young upstarts over at the New York Times were working on the story, as well, and Joe Sharkey wrote a great article that points out that the rule isn’t as arbitrary as we all might think:

“Tests showed that a container of a certain size is needed for an effective explosion. Separate three-ounce containers limited in number to what will fit inside a single one-quart bag do not have ‘enough critical diameter’ to blow up an aircraft…”

OK. So the science is there to back the rule up, and the stores are there to make it easy for us to meet the regulations. Maybe we can all stop complaining about it now. Or at least let the conspiracy theories go.

we remember

Aviation adventurer Steve Fossett is still missing. I sure hope they find him, but with each passing day, you have to wonder.
I mean, during the search for Fossett, the Civil Air Patrol in Nevada has found 8-previously UNKNOWN wrecks, some of them decades old.
And over the past 50-years, it’s estimated that 150-small planes have disappeared in Nevada; but the registry of known plane wreck sites only lists 129. Do the math. A lot of planes have never been found. The country where they and Fossett went missing, is so heartbreakingly unforgiving.
On the other hand, search-and-rescue technology is better then ever. Let’s hold on to that thought…as the search continues.

I flew from Dallas to Philadelphia on Saturday and back to Dallas on Sunday. It was a hectic weekend full of flights and family, but I was lucky enough to find a bit of peace amidst all the chaos. My Saturday flight on American Airlines departed DFW at about 8:30 AM. I was tired and unpleasant as I often am in the morning, and I was dreading the flight a little bit. In these days of 90% occupancy, I find flying to be a cramped, noisy, claustrophobic affair. However, to my great surprise, I boarded the plane and had my own row. It was like I had won some sort of lottery or I had become a celebrity over night without knowing it.

I popped up the arm rests and stretched out a bit, and I put my drink on the tray table of the empty seat next to mine, so my knees remained unencumbered. I had room to stretch my legs, I could read in relative silence, and I could grab things out of my carry-on without having to engage in any Twister-like moves. The flight went by fast and helped me get the whole trip off to a good start.

The flight home on Sunday was a different story. One of tray tables jammed into my midsection and a sleeping passenger draped over my armrest. I shouldn’t have been surprised. If you’re hoping for your own row, Saturday morning is one of your best opportunities to get it, and Sunday afternoon is one of the worst.

I know all flights can’t be empty, and too many open rows probably aren’t all that good for business, but now that I’ve had a taste of the sweet life, I don’t want to go back. If they could just make coach a little roomier, it might make a huge difference to those of us who fly. That, and make the breakfast sandwich a little more delicious. I mean, when you pay $2 for a breakfast sandwich you expect something special.

In my earlier incarnation as a TVNoozReporter, I covered a lot of plane crashes (I also covered a lot of O.J. Simpson, but that’s another blog).

Anyway, for years now, as a result of being present at so many grisly scenes, I count rows. You know, you board the plane, take a seat, and count the rows to the nearest exit. The exit ahead of you, and the exit behind you. I also study that card in the seat pocket, so I can figure out how to open the various doors on an aircraft. Yes, I AM boring, but somebody’s gotta pay attention.

Notice how many of your fellow passengers are yakking away, or snoozing while the flight attendant drones through the safety routine? Well, a friend of mine was being Mr. Chatterbox during one of these performances and the flight attendant stopped, snarled, and loudly ordered him to pay attention. It worked; he’s been paying attention ever since.

But in case you haven’t, try to sit near me.

Love your luggage tag but wish it, you know, talked to you more? Well, we have found the perfect travel gadget for you: The Lost and Found Sound Tag. According to the makers, this little device will ensure that if you set your luggage free, it will indeed come back to you:

“Lost and found sound tag ensures luggage doesn’t get lost by letting you record a twenty-second message of important information like phone number, address or hotel name for fast identification.”

Important info in your own sweet voice. What could be better? Airlines not losing your luggage, you say? Ah, that’s a story for another time.

Thanks to the folks at ubergizmo for spotting this one.

Have a great weekend!

How? By whipping out your credit card, thats how!

Starting September 10th through the 30th, all American Airlines flights out of SFO (San Francisco Airport for you Greyhound-goers) will accept only plastic to pay for their delightful array of snacks! “Yes, Ill have that $2 bottle of water. Heres my AmEx.”

Did they copy it from Virgin America? Dont ask me; all I know is when I flew Richard Branson’s spiffy new airline last month, they were credit card only (“Just swipe and go” as the flight attendant told me cheerily).

Goodness! Pretty soon they’ll be putting all those ATMs out of business!

Thought you had seen the last of dress codes when you flipped that tassel at your high school graduation? Well, you might not be out of the woods yet. As reported by the San Diego Union-Tribune, A 23 year-old woman, Kyla Ebbert (featured above), was very nearly kept from boarding a Southwest Airlines flight because her outfit (also featured above) was just too darn provocative. Here’s how Ms. Ebbert recalls her conversation with a Southwest customer service supervisor:

“I asked him what part of my outfit was offensive…The shirt? The skirt? And he said, ‘The whole thing.’”

The supervisor asked her to change (she had no extra clothes) or go home to get a new outfit and take a later flight. Ebbert, who was flying into the triple-digit temperatures of Tuscon, refused and was eventually allowed on board, but not after she underwent some stern lecturing and an embarrassing walk down the aisle.

Now, I am no fashionista, but I’m pretty sure Ms. Ebbert’s outfit isn’t challenging our notions of taste or decency or anything like that. According to Southwest, they don’t have a dress code, but they do retain the right to keep anyone from boarding a flight if they feel the passenger’s clothing is lewd or obscene.

I suppose “lewd” and “obscene” are subjective terms. I also suppose the customer service rep who hassled her has some innate fear of miniskirts…or legs…or 23 year-olds.

Over at Nepal Airlines, they were having trouble with one of their planes; according to a BBC report, it may have had something to do with electrical problems. Anyway, it led to postponement of a number of flights in recent weeks. What to do?

Sacrifice a couple of goats, that’s what.

And that’s what they did, right in front of the plane at Kathmandu Airport. The aircraft has since resumed its regular schedule of flights.

Is this something the folks at Newark and LaGuardia need to know about?

This is just great: FareCompare and its secret, technological wizardry got indications late last week that Southwest was starting a round of air fare increases, and wouldn’t you know it, the others are following suit (at least on their routes that overlap Southwest’s).

The increases are based on mileage; the further you fly, the more you pay. See as follows (and these are one-way fares, mind you):

• $1 for trips less than 500 miles
• $3 for trips less between 500 and 1000 miles
• $5 for trips between 1000 and 1250 miles
• $5 and $10 for trips over 1250 miles

Who else is raising prices? American Airlines, United Airlines, US Airways, Continental Airlines, Northwest, Frontier, Alaska Airlines and, to a lesser extent, Delta.

FareCompare’s Rick Seaney calls this “unusual activity”. Personally, I thought we’d have at least until Halloween before the airlines tried anything this scary.