In my earlier incarnation as a TVNoozReporter, I covered a lot of plane crashes (I also covered a lot of O.J. Simpson, but that’s another blog).

Anyway, for years now, as a result of being present at so many grisly scenes, I count rows. You know, you board the plane, take a seat, and count the rows to the nearest exit. The exit ahead of you, and the exit behind you. I also study that card in the seat pocket, so I can figure out how to open the various doors on an aircraft. Yes, I AM boring, but somebody’s gotta pay attention.

Notice how many of your fellow passengers are yakking away, or snoozing while the flight attendant drones through the safety routine? Well, a friend of mine was being Mr. Chatterbox during one of these performances and the flight attendant stopped, snarled, and loudly ordered him to pay attention. It worked; he’s been paying attention ever since.

But in case you haven’t, try to sit near me.