This summer’s airline delays, cancellations, and tarmac strandings made it onto the 19th season premiere of The Simpsons last night. Titled, “He Loves To Fly And He D’ohs,” the episode sees Homer plagued with the all-too-common hassles of commercial air travel. However, in a stroke of luck, he gets to leave coach behind and jet off to the Windy City aboard Mr. Burns’ private jet. The jet comes complete with an attractive flight attendant, sushi, and Lionel Ritchie. The flight is so good, that Homer can’t bear to deplane. Upon his return home, he dedicates himself to finding a job that will allow him to fly only on private jets, and with the help of a lifecoach (played by Virgin America superstar, Steven Colbert), he comes close.

If an animated private jet can make me long for luxury travel, what could a real private jet do? To find out, I checked out Forbes’ Priciest Private Planes. It gives you a chance to see how the real life Mr. Burnses live (I’m sure not all of them are evil). After reading the article and looking at the photos, I am convinced that the only way I can truly write about commercial flying is to give it up and fly only on private jets. I haven’t heard back from my boss on it yet, but I’m pretty sure he’ll see where I’m coming from.