So, you shelled out some serious cash for one of Singapore Airline’s Airbus A380 bedroom suites. You went the extra step and got one with the double bed, even. Oh yeah, you’re a romantic. You’ll wait for the gourmet meal and the champagne, and then, shall we say, the magic will happen. Get your head out of the gutter! Singapore Air doesn’t approve of that sort of thing. In fact, they have asked their passengers not to join the mile high club aboard their Airbus A380s (or any other of their planes for that matter):

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There’s just one more day to get your haunted travel fix. If you long for thrills and frights but are too scared to get out there and experience them for yourself, the Travel Channel offers a full Halloween of TV shows that will give you a glimpse into some of the world’s spooookiest spots.

October 31st
(all times ET/PT)

9:00 am – Most Haunted Live Translyvania
11:00 am – Mysterious Journeys: The Hunt for Dracula
12:00 noon – America’s Haunted hotels
1:00 pm – Night Visitors
2:00 pm – America’s Scariest Halloween Attractions 2
3:00 pm – America’s Scariest Halloween Attractions
4:00 pm – Most Haunted in America
5:00 pm – America’s Haunted Houses
6:00 pm – Mysterious Journeys: The Witches of Salem
7:00 pm – Mysterious Journeys: The Ghosts of Gettysburg
8:00 pm – Halloween’s Most Extreme
9:00 pm – World’s Creepiest Destinations
10:00 pm – Mysterious Journeys: Prison of Horrors – Eastern State Penitentiary
11:00 pm – Most Haunted Live: Eastern State Penitentiary

Watch for the travel. Stay for the terror!

Not to worry! The psycho (or anyone else) won’t be able to open the door in midflight. How do we know? Cuz so many have tried. And failed.

And then there’s the little matter of the shape of an airplane door, and the pressurization, and…well the bottom line is, on a modern, commercial jetliner, you can’t open those doors. Not while the plane’s in the air. So sit back, and relax. Your psycho’s not going anywhere.

This week’s travel gadget has been featured in Delta’s Sky magazine, several newspapers, and it functions on what many would claim are sound scientific principles. It still kind of freaks me out, though. Using a combination of light and sound, the MindSpa is said to relieve jetlag, help you focus, and let you live an overall more relaxing life. It’s, you know, like a spa treatment…for your mind:

The principle behind MindSpa is easy to understand and yet very effective. It has been known for many decades that by introducing specific auditory and visual frequencies, the mind will quickly and effortlessly attune to these frequencies. This process is known as frequency following response. Two common natural examples are the flickering of small fires and candles and the sound of ocean waves.

Just because I’m afraid doesn’t mean you have to be. Check out the MindSpa, and decide for yourself if it’s worth the $200+.

The Airbus A380 took its maiden commercial flight today. There had been delays, controversy, and a lot of questions, but the day of the Super jumbo double-decker plane has finally arrived. The Singapore Air flight lifted off from Changi Airport and touched down in Sydney, Australia. Passengers toasted the flight, enjoyed some fine dining, and some even got to recline in their very own bedroom suites.

There are still questions as to whether the A380 will be the success Airbus hoped for, but this morning, everybody in the Airbus camp seemed to be just relishing the moment. Now, the ball is in Boeing’s court. Their Dreamliner debut has been pushed back, and travel insiders and enthusiasts are eager to see the moment when these two giants both vie for space in the sky.

Ah, it’s not yet Halloween and already the Chipmunks’ Christmas Song is getting stuck in my head. While I may not be ready to head up to Target and start purchasing Christmas decorations, I do know that it’s time (past time, really) to buy plane tickets for the winter holidays.

Rick Seaney (CEO of FareCompare and our boss) was part of a holiday travel piece in the Wall Street Journal’s The Middle Seat column this week. If you haven’t bought your tickets for the holidays yet or if you’re looking for holiday travel tips, make sure to check out Scott McCartney’s Cheap Holiday Fares? They Aren’t in the Cards This Year.

Well, at least that’s how the venerable city fathers of Sioux City, Iowa used to feel about their airport’s FAA code, which is, yes, SUX.

But where once there were plans afoot to ditch the designation, now, Sioux Citians are embracing their inner SUX. The airport’s new marketing campaign calls for all things SUX. Just look at the airport’s official website, which has been renamed www.flysux.com; and now you can buy t-shirts and caps with the SUX logo.

We like this. We always suspected those corn-fed, friendly folks in Iowa had a pretty good sense of humor, because, face it, ya need one, living in Iowa. Or were we thinking of Idaho? Ah, whats the difference…

Anyway, it could have been worse for Sioux City; take a look at some of our other favorite airport codes:

• Altoona, PA (AOO) The sound passengers make after a near-collision.

• Eek, AK (EEK) Ratville.

• Fresno, CA (FAT) McDonald-land.

• Grand Rapids, MI (GRR) Home of the Angry Mid-Westerners.

• Point Lay, AK (PIZ) I dont think Sioux City would have traded for this one.

You hear some crazy stories about Russian airlines; Kids flying on the wing, flight attendants getting drunk and beating down a passenger, pilots living on the edge. But it’s a rare treat to actually get to see a bit of the lunacy in action.

Gadling pointed out a hidden camera video on English Russia that captures two (allegedly) intoxicated Russian flight attendants stealing a tender moment mid-flight.

In all fairness, drunk flight attendant videos aren’t relegated only to Russia. Click here to watch a homegrown airline employee do America proud.

When talking about air travel gadgets, it’s important to remember that the brains behind said gadgets don’t always run their ideas by the airlines. That is why we’re sometimes faced with travel gadget ideas that literally don’t fly.

Case in point: Personalized Airplane Seat Covers. They’re meant to keep things clean, comfortable, and germ-free when you’re traveling. The only problem is, you can’t use them:

“Airplane seat cushions and covers must meet stringent flammability standards before they are certified for onboard use. The personalized seat covers that are now being marketed, and that have been seen on several televisions news shows, will not meet the certification requirements. The FAA has recommended that airlines not allow these devices to be used onboard.” (From Fly Away Cafe)

Before you shell out the cash or take a TV reporter’s word for it, make sure you contact the airline to see if your travel gadget of choice is really ready and legal for travel.

Was perusing the euphoniously named “United Really Sucks” website the other day when I came upon a sucky story indeed (we discovered the site thanks to the fine folks at Consumerist). Note: the author is an anonymous blogger. Just so we know where we are.

Anyway, it seems a Good Samaritan took a friend’s cat to the Sacramento airport to ship it to this friend, who’d flown ahead to Denver (friend was in the process of moving, you see).

Anyway, much merriment ensued at the United counter, where Good Sam was told he had the wrong sort of carrier (he didnt), that the cat’s paperwork was not in order (it was), and on and on and on. Cat finally flew out 2-days later. Did the cat survive the journey? We’re left hanging on that point, but we do know Sam says United will never get anymore of his business.

The cat’s name? Again, we’re left in the dark. Could it have been Branson? Southwest? We at Standard Upright Position can only speculate…

From the pages of the Standard Upright Position Crime Files: 10-workers at JFK, including Delta and American employees were arrested for drug smuggling this week.

Allegedly, these folks were putting the stuff in the checked-luggage (and I just thought my talcum powder container had exploded).

The bust was the result of a 2-year investigation, in which the cops seized more than 100-pounds of cocaine, 55-pounds of heroin, and a few miscellaneous pounds of ecstasy. And, in case you’ve forgotten, earlier this year, some workers at the Orlando airport were arrested for smuggling guns.

But look on the bright side…you probably DON’T have to worry about anyone smuggling an 8-ounce bottle of water into their carry-on.

Last week, we covered a story in which a passenger was arrested for an altercation that arose between he and a flight attendant after said attendant asked him to turn off his iPod. Well, those pesky Apple products are at it again. This time the culprit is the ever-popular iPhone.

An ATA passenger switched the iPhone to “Airplane Mode,” basically disabling any cell phone, bluetooth, or WiFi aspects of the device. The passenger proceeded to watch Jennifer Love Hewitt try desperately to escape a hook-handed killer in I Know What You Did Last Summer. The flight attendant, either not accepting the whole “airplane mode” theory or disagreeing with the turn Western cinema has taken over the last decade, told the passenger to turn the iPhone off. From there, things got ugly, and according to Consumerist, eventually led the flight attendant to remark, “You have to do anything I say, I am going to have you arrested…” When the plane landed, the passenger was detained, but no charges were brought.

OK, so the flight attendant couldn’t tell the passenger which FAA rules were being broken, and the passenger couldn’t make the case to keep the movie on. I can see both sides of the thing. This new- fangled technology might throw some airline employees off. For my part, I think the problem goes beyond iPods and iPhones. In the days of overcrowded planes, overworked employees, and frustrated travelers, a simple issue like whether someone should get to watch a mediocre horror movie while onboard a plane warrants police action. Perhaps, everybody just needs to calm down a bit. I know the work of Jennifer Love Hewitt always does the trick for me.

With all the high-tech gadgets out there, it’s easy to forget the simpler things in life. Those objects that can, for very little money, truly make air travel more enjoyable. For instance, the pillow.

Sure, you sleep on one every night, so you don’t really think of it as a travel gadget, but there are special pillows out there designed just for the airplane passenger.

Tired of the back and neck pain? Tired of fighting to find a a semi-comfortable sleeping position on the plane? Perhaps the n-a-p travel pillow can help. It’s soft, it stretches, it’s “luxurious,” and it contains “thousands of high-quality, cushiony microbeads.” Now, who doesn’t love microbeads?

Bottom line: It can really give your neck a break on long trips. And that makes it worth trading up from the standard-issue airline pillow. You can find the n-a-p travel pillow for about $25 from Brookstone.

Spider-Man 3 on DVD is going to hit the shelves at the end of the month, and FareCompare (our place of employment) is sponsoring prizes in association with the launch of the DVD. Click hereto play the Spider-Man 3 DVD game, and you could be eligible to win some great prizes including 20-free round-trip airfares from FareCompare!

The Promotion began at the stroke of midnight (ET) and ends at 11:59 p.m. (ET) on December 4, 2007. Play today and give yourself the chance to win!

Most of us don’t really believe that our electronic devices have any effect on what a plane can or can’t do. In fact, there are air travel studies that have shown electronic devices don’t do anything at all to planes. However, that doesn’t mean you need to go crazy when the flight attendants ask you to turn off your iPod during your descent. It’s their job, and it’s the law, so just deal with the fact that your Creedence will have to wait ’til you’re in the car.

If you don’t, you might just end up in jail:

“James D. Elston became belligerent when asked to turn off his iPod as Northwest Airlines Flight 1108 was beginning its descent into Southwest Florida Regional Airport on Monday, a sheriffs arrest report said…He was arrested for breach of peace disorderly conduct, the sheriff’s booking report shows.” (From Florida Today)

I know it’s hard to sit on a plane for 20 minutes without your personal theme music, but you can spend the time cursing 12-Across on the in-flight crossword or just pricing an animatronic Elvis.

Vanity Fair’s latest issue (November 2007) has an amusing little column called “The New V.F. Guide to Jetiquette” and if we ever hope to be invited on some mogul’s personal flying machine, we’d best take note. Among the commandments:

“Honor the ‘Wheels Up’ Departure Time: The departure time is sacrosanct. It’s not a cocktail party, so don’t even think of arriving fashionably late or you’ll be left waving your arms on the tarmac as the host’s Hawker roars down the runway. NOTE: A-list actors are exempt from this rule.”

The article also suggests possible “Thank You” gifts for the host, including an Asprey purple-leather travel backgammon set (only $1,750). But, if you’re a peasant like me, you’ll just take that money, buy a cheap air fare, and have a chunk of change left over. Yes, I AM too boring for words.

While I think it’s a good thing to highlight those travel gadgets that can make your life a little easier or at least a little more entertaining when you fly, I also think it’s important to reflect on those travel gadgets that just never quite caught on.

I give you…The Techno Privacy Scarf!

Last year, TechE Blog and Gizmodo featured this beauty, and summed it up like this:

“How can you breathe in the thing? Well, if playing your handheld games or watching porn is more important than breathing, and you don’t mind looking like an anteater wearing a burqa, this scarf’s for you.”

Hey, if you’re going to fail, fail big. I salute you totally bizarro Techno Privacy Scarf and your desire to keep us all isolated even when in public.

Wow, things really went well for the airlines this summer. They reported record delays and cancellations, the government is toying with the idea of stepping up oversight, and they managed to screw up a million pieces of luggage in about 90 days.

That’s right, according to the Bureau of Transportation Statistics (BTS), 1 million pieces of luggage were either lost, delayed, damaged, or stolen between May and July. Now, I’m no mathematician, but luckily the folks at Traveler are:

“…these statistics mean that almost 8 in every 1,000 passengers had problems with their luggage whenever they flew.”

Whether you break it down or just leave it at 1,000,000 bags delayed, damaged, or stolen, it sounds pretty bad. Hopefully, autumn will see a major turnaround for the air travel industry on all fronts. If not, at least there will be pretty leaves to look at.

CNN is reporting that after a month of searching for aviation adventurer Steve Fossett, the Civil Air Patrol has called off the operation. Fossett disappeared in early September while flying over the deserts of Nevada reportedly in search of the perfect spot for a future attempt at breaking the land speed record.

Fossett is a world record holder, an aviation pioneer, and a vital part of the Virgin Atlantic Team that helped give rise to Virgin Galactic and it’s suborbital spacecraft.

It is believed that over the past 50 years, some 150 planes have disappeared in Nevada. To date, there are only 129 listed crash sites.

If you’re fond of bringing remote control toys onboard airplanes, things might get a little more complicated for you. While you can still carry those RC cars and ‘copters on, the TSA might put you through increased security, patting you down in the process.

As reported by USA Today: “Intelligence and law enforcement have developed information that terrorists are interested in using remote-controlled toy vehicles as part of their tactics,” TSA chief Kip Hawley said in an interview. “There were some dots that came together.”

My advice: If you’re checking bags, put the remote control vehicle or robot in the suitcase. If that’s not an option, give yourself some extra time to make it through the security line. This includes children, too. The new security policy applies to travelers of all ages.

True aviation aficionados had their chance to take a piece of the supersonic past home with them. Parts of the Concorde, once an inspiration to all of those who wanted to travel fast and in style, were auctioned off in the South of France. Almost every Concorde part was on the block (except smoke detectors), so bidders had ample opportunity to get their hands on something they wanted.

As reported by the AP, “The auction is aimed at raising funds for a planned park and museum in southwestern Toulouse, home to plane maker Airbus and its predecessor company behind the jet.”

While the Concorde’s last days were surrounded by tragedy, it’s still remembered by many as the symbol of the truly glamorous life.