What’s all the whoop-de-doo?

Well, it seems Ireland’s Ryanair ran a provocative advertisement for back-to-school fares, featuring a uniform-clad schoolgirl.

So what, you say? Well, we’re not exactly talking about a 3^rd-grader here, and we’re not exactly talking about your average uniform (the killjoy nuns at my school never allowed midriff-baring blouses).

Okay, okay, you can view the photo here.

But Ryanair isn’t the only airline with naughty ads. Keep reading, you know you want to.

It’s 9-degrees in Chicago as I write this (or, as The Weather Channel puts it oh-so-cheerily, “It feels like -12!”).

So why does a certain travel website suggest freezing New Yorkers should check-out a “Sunny Getaway” to the City-of-Big-Shoulders? (Thanks, Upgrade: Travel Better).

But wait, there’s more: CNN runs a loony AP article on how tourists gush about the glories of Chicago in winter time.

Gush! But wait, it gets better!

Just click “more” and see for yourself.

Mike: “So who made Mobil’s 5-star hotel list?”

Anne: “Well, anything with ‘Ritz’ or ‘Seasons’ in its name. Nothing with ‘Motel’ or ’6′ made it.”

Mike: “Restaurants? Names?”

Anne: “Very exciting names: ‘The Dining Room’. ‘The French Laundry’.”

Mike: “Ah. Would you like the bearnaise with that, or the starch?”

Anne: “And don’t get me started on ‘per se’. I had enough of e.e. cummings in junior high.”

Mike: “We’re starting to sound like total rubes.”

Anne: “Whatever happened to places with names like ‘Killer Shrimp’ or ‘Aunt Kizzy’s Back Porch’?”

Mike: “Nothing. Still there. “

Anne: “Why ‘Roscoe’s House of Chicken ‘n Waffles’ didn’t make the list, I’ll never understand.”

Flowers? Correct. Candy? Absolutely. (We’ll tell you not to buy candy; do not believe us).

And some of us want to get married. Just be careful if you go to Vegas. The LA Times sez wedding chapel owners hire guys who hang around the marriage license bureau, waiting to strong-arm you into saying your vows at their particular temple of love.

So whatta ya do? Click “more” and find out!

You’re counting the days ’til you can leave work and school behind and hit the beach for a week of Spring Break festivities.

Well, when you’re out there, you might find yourself in desperate need of a bottle opener to crack open all of those colas you plan on drinking. Instead of lugging one around, why not just pop that bad boy open with your flip-flop? Yep, the Reef Fanning Sandals give you all of the comfort of luxury beach footwear with all of the convenience of a bottle opener.

It’s Spring Break, people. Can you really survive without a sandal bottle opener?

Some homeowners in near Philadelphia‘s airport are not pleased with recent FAA changes to departure headings.

It means more jet noise for them. So they sent the FAA a message. It’s on their roof.

Even though the message is only “initials” I don’t think we can get away with printing it. So you’ll just have to click here, and see the photo for yourself…

Creepy story from CNN. A teenage boy is under arrest; he told the cops he planned to hijack a commercial jet, and crash it into a “Hannah Montana” concert in Lafayette, Louisiana (apparently, the kid is from there).

Would sound kinda funny, or at least like something out of a teen-angst-novel, if the kid hadn’t been carrying handcuffs, duct tape and a rope.

What is going on? Sign of the times? The odd nutcake? Did anybody not notice that the kid was acting a little weird? I’m depressed…

You all know Kate Hanni, crusader for passenger rights, stuck on the tarmac for blah blah blah…

Don’t get me wrong, she’s doing the right thing. She’s been yakkin’ about this, and lo! New York passed a Passenger Rights Bill. Now 6-other states have intro’d similar bills (Washington, Indiana, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island and Michigan).

But an airline exec (Alaska) testified that this will mean a “patchwork quilt” of laws, and impossible to comply with…

All my childhood dreams of space travel are rushing to the surface. Virgin Galactic has released its designs for what should be the first viable commercial space craft, and if I can get the $200,000 needed to get onbaord, I could be going suborbital by 2010.

BBC News reports that Virgin’s design for SpaceShipTwo builds on that of the X-Prize winning SpaceShipOne. That means the craft will initially be lifted by a carrier plane (White Knight Two) before blasting off.

Visit Virgin Galactic for more on Richard Branson’s space plans, and if anyone could spot me the $200,000, I swear I’m good for it.

Liked this story? Check out “The Virgin Empire”

The Bureau of Transportation Statistics has spoken, and it looks like Chicago O’Hare has the worst on-time departure percentage once again.

For the second straight year, the Second City’s mammoth airport has let more than a few travelers down when it comes to getting them to where they need to go on-time. Passenger traffic and weather of course affect O’Hare’s ability to keep on-time departure percentages up, but other “bad weather” and busy airports faired considerably better.

Congratulations are in order for Salt Lake City. With on-time departures at 84.94%, SLC ranked #1 among major airports.

Check out rickseaney.com for the complete rankings.

Virgin America is adding flights to Seattle on January 31st. Since kicking things off in ’07, Virgin America has expanded their route system across the West Coast and added new transcontinental flights.

The move into Seattle throws the gauntlet at Alaska Air’s feet. To learn more about how things are shaping up between the two airlines, visit our Virgin America blog, and for a photo tour of the typical Virgin America plane, read “Like A Virgin? Yeah, I Like a Virgin a Whole Lot.”

We had such a good time trying out the Knee Defender on the FareCompare Grumpy Santa tour, that we contacted the good people of GadgetDuck.com to see what else they had to offer the travelers of the world. They were kind enough to send us the Scanner Bag.

While Scanner Bag might not cause the controversy that Knee Defender inspired, it can come in handy when you’re taking to the skies. It’s designed to double as a luggage ID tag and a handy carrying case for personal items such as keys, a Black Berry, cell phones, watches, coins, and more.

The Scanner Bag is meant to make your life a little easier when walking through security lines at the airport or anywhere else you might have to go through security.

The three different models range from $13.45 to $24.85. Visit GadgetDuck.com for all the details, and keep reading for for a close-up…

JFK is turning into some horrible movie where a bunch of aging actors stand around and talk about “pulling off one last heist” while holding postcards of the island resort where they’ll retire and live a “normal life” once said heist has been pulled.

In case you’ve been out of the loop, in a relatively short period of time, workers at JFK have stolen credit card numbers, run smuggling rings, and made off with people’s baggage. Well, I guess none of those was worthy of “one final score” status, because JFK workers are now being accused of stealing $250,000 in diamonds.

Oh, JFK workers don’t you know that those heist movies almost always end poorly. Check out The Consumerist for all of the details.

Liked this story? Check out “Odd Uncle = D.B. Cooper?”

It seems, the Stratocruiser isn’t the only airship in town. Or at least, it’s not the only conceptualized airship in town. Behold, the Manned Cloud!

This French-designed luxury air cruiser will be 1640 sq. ft., contain 60 rooms, and will offer a degree of spaciousness and style that most airlines can’t compete with. Of course, it won’t even reach an airspeed of 200 mph, but that’s not what the airship is all about. Designers believe that this baby could be ready to take to the skies some time next year.

Visit Gizmodo and Gems Sty to see what a manned cloud looks like on the inside and from below.

Liked this story? Check out “Zeppelin Returns”

No matter how much time I have on my hands when I travel to Los Angeles or Las Vegas, getting to In-N-Out Burger always tops my list of priorities. Sadly, the times I’ve had layovers at LAX, I’ve been unable to sate my hunger for those delicious burgers.

Thankfully, the good people at Gadling have made sure that will never happen again. They’ve laid out a surefire way to get from LAX to In-N-Out for free in a very short period of time. It involves a shuttle and maybe a little bit of subterfuge, but if you’re willing (and you know you are), you can get your hands on a delicious burger and be back in time to catch your flight.

Read Gadling’s Free LAX shuttle to In-N-Out Burgers to get all the details.

How’s that for working a celebrity into a travel blog?

Anyway, yours truly was slogging away at her keyboard, all the windows agape (yours truly is in LA), when suddenly, this…ROAR!!!!

Oh, of course…helicopters! Lots of helicopters. And since this is LA, that can only mean one thing:

BRITNEY!

A quick perusal of a gossip site confirms it…she is having lunch down the road. Followed by cameras and cars and…choppers. Lots of big, noisy choppers.

Poor woman.

Virgin Atlantic is going to make a very special test flight next month: the tanks of one of their 747s will be filled with biofuel.

Supposedly, this is the first commercial airline to ever do this. According to the shy and retiring Richard Branson, this demonstration “will give us crucial knowledge that we can use to dramatically reduce our carbon footprint.”

Fine. But I notice that this “test flight” will have no passengers on board. Hmmm.

[Liked this story? Then check out "The Virgin Empire"]

CES has just wrapped up in Las Vegas, and the world was introduced to new gadgets of every make and model. Some are ready for the big time; others not so much.

One of those new toys that’s not quite ready for prime-time is the latest edition of the MP4 watch. Hey, it looks like a fancy timepiece, and the screen and video quality are great, but as the folks at endgadget put it, “too bad you’ll need a forklift to keep your wrist propped up while wearing this behemoth.”

Hang onto your laptops and portable DVD players for now, but the future of watching video on planes may lie with your wrist. Be sure to visit endgadget for images and video of the MP4 watch and other great gadgets from CES.

The correct response is, both have made the “No Fly” list.

The senator has since gotten himself off the list, but not so our young hero. The 5-year old Seattle area lad was at Sea-Tac last week, heading to LAX with his mom.

Then, the long arm of the law reached out: Not so fast, son! You Are On Our List.

Of course, it was Mom who got frisked. Go figure. But eventually, they got on the plane.

Saw this on Consumerist. And Consumerist never leaves you hanging–here’s their link to getting yourself OFF the “No Fly” list. Oh, and here’s some video of the kid. He seems harmless…

Hey, who says you have to stay in your home country to get busted? Nobody!

Pack your bags, hop on a plane, and start causing trouble in a foreign land. In case you’re wondering which foreign cities offer you the best chance of getting arrested, Gadling (source: the LA Times) has put together a Top-Ten List. Keep reading to see if your favorite destination cracked the top ten…

You can’t walk through a check-out line without learning which celebrities are pregnant, which celebrities might be pregnant, which ones are lying about not-being pregnant, and who might be hiding the always elusive “baby bump.” Luckily, the folks at Jaunted have taken the celebrity pregnancy craze and used it for Good instead of Evil.

They break down Nicole Kidman’s and Nicole Richie’s pregnancies and give a lesson in safe air travel. Check out the Jaunted post to find good tips and sources for information on healthy air travel for mothers-to-be.

OK, so the House that Uncle Walt built isn’t really banning kids, but one of Disney World’s restaurants doesn’t want your youngsters to dine with you. Victoria & Albert’s, Disney World’s only AAA Five-Diamond rated restaurant, will no longer allow children under the age of 10 through its doors.

Just so you know, dining at this fine establishment runs you a minimum of $100+ per person, harp music fills the air, and a dress-code is enforced. Not really a place for the little ones, I suppose.

Of course, I think you’re better off grabbing a funnel cake and a bucket of popcorn and heading to Expedition Everest, but maybe that’s just me.

You’re traveling from city to city, spending your days connecting to wireless services at various airports and hotels in a desperate attempt to keep up with your portfolio. Is it safe to make that trade, or are you opening yourself up to password and ID theft?

Well, trading on the wireless networks isn’t necessarily the safest way to go, so get some added security. The folks over at Vagabondish suggest you check out E*TRADE Complete^TM Digital Security ID. According to E*Trade, this Bondesque travel gadget “generates a personal 6-digit access code every 60 seconds” and “Keeps out hackers even in the unlikely event that your User ID and Password are compromised.”

Keep traveling, keep trading, and look cool doing it.

Atlanta’s Hartsfield-Jackson has been named the busiest (in terms of flights) airport for the third year in a row:

“The Atlanta airport logged 994,466 flights in 2007, up 1.8 percent from 976,447 in 2006, the Federal Aviation Administration said. Flights include takeoffs and landings.” (From the Boston Globe)

Sure, it may log more flights, but my recent experiences have proven, at least to me, that ATL is far easier to handle then JFK and far easier to get out of than LAX. Seriously, LAX, do something about the cab/shuttle/car situation out there. It’s a nightmare.

Ever wonder what the world’s Northern-most and Southern-most commercial airports are? Of course you have!

And, in case Alex Trebek ever asks you to name them, say the following in the form of a question:

1. Northern-most: Longyearbyen, Norway

2. Southern-most: Ushuaia, Argentina (Islas Malvinas)

Yes, yes, we KNOW there’s an airport on Antarctica, but we can’t find any regularly scheduled flights there. So there. Info courtesy FareCompare.com.