Thanks to Joe Sharkey for this warm-and-fuzzy letter by a child on the occasion of the child’s first flight.

Cynics, get out your handkerchiefs.

Yes, little 8 year-old Nicole’s hand-written (and illustrated!) thank-you note to the pilot was really sweet.

Brought a tear to my eye.

Well, ’til the last line, anyway. Uh…as they say, may not be SFW.

The FAA is reminding air travelers departing from Hawaiian airports not to pack fireworks in their luggage.

In related news, the FDA is reminding people not to eat hamburger that’s been soaked in turpentine.

According to a recent report, Hawaii “accounted for 17 of the 48 fireworks cases in the Western-Pacific region in 2008″ — cases where fireworks were illegally stowed in luggage.

Here’s the deal: don’t do it. You could be fined or jailed. And you will be forced to wear that “King of the Stupids” crown for life.

First, I must wipe up all the Diet Coke that splattered out my nose and onto my keyboard.

Done.

Second, allow me to thank Mike Barish at gadling.com for the funniest stuff I’ve seen in ages (well, at least since I last checked The Superficial).

Nah, this is funnier. You see, Barish has a feature called SkyMall Monday — and this week, he’s rounded up the creme de la creme — the best of SkyMall Monday.

Do read this.

It features products targeted to specific customers — just pray you’re not one of them. Among the amazingly bizarre items is, a Hair Flair Visor — a Cruzin Cooler — a Noseaid — and some sort of potentially lethal looking neck thingie.

An Australian man is in jail, after he “faked” being an engineer for Qantas — for almost a year (and thank you, gadling, for the tip).

Apparently this guy forged an engineer’s license, posed as a supervising airline engineer, and inspected 747′s.

Sort of like the Leonardo DiCaprio character in “Catch Me If You Can” — well, sort of — Leo probably couldn’t have killed anybody and this inspector wacko could have. Think about it.

And while you’re at it, think about why he pretended to be an airline engineer. An astronaut, I could see that. A cowboy, absolutely. An engineer? I don’t think so…

The very best of the season to you!

From all of us at

FareCompare.com

Christmas is here, and eyes are turning toward the sky, trying to catch a glimpse of Santa and his sleigh. Of course, it’s not the easiest thing to spot with the naked eye. Happily, DFW International Airport is here to help us out.

The DFW Santa Tracker 2008 allows you to follow each move Santa and his reindeer make. It also lets you play holiday games, link to other holiday sites, and get the best view of all with the handy “Santa Cam.”

Keep an eye on the sky (or the computer) this Christmas Eve, and have a safe and happy holiday!

Sleepless? Heck, yeah! All those people waiting for flights to take off — that weren’t taking off — had to sit/lie on the floor. The seats were long since taken.

No seats — and no food! According to this roundup report of the nasty weekend from KATU TV, concessionaires were having trouble getting deliveries because some roads were closed.

No seats, no food, no roads. Okay, some people said, that’s it — we’re outta here! So they left — make that, tried to leave — but as we know, some roads were closed, and, Amtrak service and a lot of bus routes were cancelled.

To my stuck-in-Seattle friends: I know it doesn’t help but I feel a little of your pain — my own spawn was due in LA Saturday evening, but didn’t arrive til 4:30am on Sunday.

Ah. It’s been way too long since our last “drunk” post. Well, 4 weeks anyway. So sit back and enjoy.

It seems a couple were traveling on a United flight from Osaka to San Francisco, and the husband had so much to drink that, according to the lawsuit (I love this) “he could not manage himself”.

And being unmanageable, well, upon arrival in San Fran — he beat on his wife — and got himself arrested.

So he’s suing United for negligently overserving him — he wants the airline to pay for his bail, the pain and suffering, you name it. United responded rather tartly — saying that to suggest “we are somehow responsible for the consequences of a passenger’s physical assault on his own wife is without any merit whatsoever.”

I have no idea how much this guy was “served” but it has been my experience that flight attendants say “no” to inebriated passengers. And, drunk or sober, nobody should hit anyone, ever. Too bad I have to even say that…

This is one for the books. A pilot with the low-cost European regional carrier Flybe was approaching Charles de Gaulle airport when he told his passengers he wasn’t qualified to land in the fog there — and with that, he turned around and headed back to Cardiff.

Okay, give him props for honesty.

But still. This was no student pilot — the guy had 30 years worth of experience — but not the right kind for a Bombardier Q400 in a fog, apparently. Now, call me crazy, but — fog isn’t exactly a bizarre or unusual weather condition, right? Strange.

In case you’re wondering, the airline stands behind its pilot’s decision “100%”.

Alaska Airlines has donated more than 40-tons of food to Seattle and Portland area food banks this year.

Don’t laugh — the food is unused airline food.

Why not? This stuff, according to the Portland Business Journal, consists of “unopened bags of dried fruit, salami, cheese spread, crackers, cookies and other items that were initially offered to first-class passengers.”

It won’t end poverty, or even hunger — but it’s a step. A step.

Another great letter to The Consumerist:

“Recently when booking flights for a business trip, we didn’t know who the 4th person would be so we booked an extra ticket with my name on it.”

Okay, buddy — you just blew it. Right there. FAIL.

“I assumed there would likely be a fee and am not opposed to paying 50 to 100 dollars to change the name on the ticket. But JetBlue is telling us that the name cannot be changed…we would need to cancel the ticket and book a new one. This would cost us 800 dollars.”

He wants to know what to do. My question is, what kind of business person IS this? Does he only travel by train? How is it he doesn’t KNOW you cannot change ticket names? My DOG knows this, and he’s not the brightest hound in the herd.

You don’t change names. You just…don’t. As Consumerist pointed out, best he can do is cancel the ticket, pay the change fee, get the voucher and re-book.

Did you know? Some 637,000 laptops are lost at U.S. airports each year — lost, or — STOLEN!

At least according to one report. But I’m sure plenty do disappear. And the solution, according to the fine folks at TurboBag? Why…a TurboBag.

Now, I don’t own one, but they sound good. For those who don’t know, a TurboBag is one of those new, TSA-approved laptop bags that you can put through security — without removing the laptop. Great idea. One less thing to worry about — and that means less stress, according to the TurboBag folks — and that, they suggest, means you’ll be more alert to laptop thieves.

Maybe. You’re still going to be fiddling with your shoes and looking around for your belt, and what could happen is, a the thief makes off with a laptop in a nice snazzy TurboBag.

Again, don’t get me wrong, the bag sounds cool (and they start at just $39.95) — but the BEST thing you can do during the holidays and any days is — watch your stuff like an eagle-eyed hawk. Yep, two metaphors for the price of one to show you how serious I am about this.

Just finished reading a stomach-wrenching article on one of “the world’s greatest hitchhikers” — bed bugs. Yes, they are popping up everywhere, according to a company that “bug proofs” mattresses — and you want to leave home without ‘em — and return that way, too.

TIP: When you get into your hotel room, whip out that flashlight you always carry (okay, start carrying one) and examine the edges of the mattress for “dark brownish to black spots or stains that could indicate bed bugs” and if you see that, run screaming through the night. Actually the article doesn’t say what to do if that’s the case, but I’d opt for screaming.

TIP: Never put your suitcase on the floor or the bed of your room — always use the luggage rack.

TIP: When you bring your suitcase home, don’t empty it in the house — empty it in your garage (I’m not kidding, that’s what they say).

See more bed bug tips, right here.

I am sure you saw the story about the Marine fighter plane that crashed into a neighborhood in San Diego, killing four members of a family — two small children, their mother and grandmother.

But did you know this?

The surviving member of the family — the father of the children, the widower — said, he does not blame the pilot — he knows he did everything he could.Then, Dong Yun Yoon talked about his own loss:

“Right now, I don’t know how I feel. But I know there are many people who have experience of terrible things.

“Please tell me how to do it, because I don’t know what to do.”

An Australian and a Swede were flying over the Arctic (Northern Canada) when their twin-engine Cessna failed, so they crash landed on a slab of ice.

Only the ice wasn’t real sturdy, and plane and ice began to sink.

They hopped out and managed to jump onto another sheet of ice — measuring all of 16 ft by 32 ft. Fortunately, that one didn’t sink or they would have been in big trouble.

Not that sitting on an ice floe overnight was a walk in the park. Temperatures could best be described as “high-end refrigerator” — you know — Sub-Zero.

Anyway, along comes daylight, and they — get this — hopped from one ice sheet to another, til they finally reached the shore (at Iqaluit, Nunavut). Eventually a passing fishing boat saw them and picked them up.

Tough guys.

Breaking News from The Onion: American Airlines is now going to start charging fees to all its customers, and people who aren’t customers.

According to an Onion investigation team, “charges will include a $25 tax on citizens traveling with any other airline, as well as a mandatory $30 surcharge for passengers who decide to just stay home for the holidays instead.”

The story goes on to quote American’s CEO: “It’s never an easy decision to ask our loyal customers, as well as thousands of people chosen at random out of a telephone book, to pay a little extra, but that’s just the reality of today’s economic climate. We hope all Americans will understand this when receiving one of our new bills in the mail.”

New baggage fees will include a $15 charge for each piece of luggage in your bedroom closet.

Don’t know The Onion? You should.

Amazing article from Bloomberg — it seems Japan is building a $268 million airport that nobody wants to fly to.

Ibaraki Airport is scheduled to open in the spring of 2010, but Japan Airlines and All Nippon Airways — together they operate about 90% of the flights in Japan — don’t plan to use it. Says JAL’s prez, “It’s out of the question.”

This new airport is just an hour north of Tokyo’s Narita — which is undergoing expansion — as is Tokyo’s Haneda airport. Hmm. So who will fly in and out of Ibaraki?

Hey, Southwest! Looking for a new challenge?

Okay, Christmas is coming — and you need a gift for that “aviation or travel enthusiast”.

Here’s the solution: a book called “Jetliner Cabins” by Jennifer Coutts Clay. It’s about — jetliner cabins. According to the press release, “readers will find in the 16 chapters information about everything from safety, seat design, and fabric selection to meal service, accessibility and maintenance in first-, business- and economy-class cabins.”

Fabric selection — fabulousity! I will leave you with some final thoughts from the author:

“What do passengers get for their money? How are new products, such as sleeper seats and lounge bars, integrated into existing floor plans? Why do some cabin environments feel more welcoming than others? This book is where readers will find answers to some of these difficult questions.” –Jennifer Coutts Clay, “Jetliner Cabins”

I can answer one difficult question — according to the press release, the book goes for $55.

Hey, all — this could be the real deal.

Reuters is reporting that tests on the drug, tasimelteon — also known as VEC-162 — show it has the potential to work for people with “transient insomnia”. Meaning people who work the late-shift, as well as people who suffer from jet-lag.

Testing is being carried out at Boston’s Brigham and Women’s Hospital and Harvard Medical School, in conjunction with the drug’s developer, Maryland-based Vanda Pharmaceuticals.

Here’s some of the initial findings: people using tasimelteon “fell asleep faster, had better sleep and woke up faster”.

The cognoscenti at Consumerist never disappoint.

Their latest: the “Recombobulation Area” at Milwaukee’s Mitchell International Airport. Now, don’t get all excited — it’s just a “patch of carpet with a few chairs”. Apparently so you can put yourself together after the discombobulating process of “going through security.” Okay, I get it: it’s just a matter of getting you to smile.

Or is it? Let’s see what Consumerist readers had to say:

“Recombobulation” is what happens after you’ve been beamed down and all your particles must reconstitute themselves.”

Aha. This reader, for one, will eschew further recombobulation:

“Feh, who needs to recombobulate? I love traveling with my shoes on the wrong feet, my pants down around my ankles, my cell-phone stuffed down the front of my trousers and my underwear on the outside of my pants.”

Amen, brother.