Ever hear of Gulfstream International Airlines? Nah, me either. But I probably should know it, so never mind.

In any event, it’s real, it’s based in Ft. Lauderdale, and it’s being considered for a $1.3 million fine by the FAA – so says the Wall St. Journal.

Pilots and other employees have alleged that the airline falsified records so Gulfstream pilots could work longer hours – longer hours than federal safety rules allow. The company has indicated there may have been one instance of this but it was not done with “the intent of skirting the rules.” Heck no!

Gee – tired pilots -

What more is there to say?

Sort of a she-said, she-said deal here.

The scene: A JetBlue plane from New York to Seattle, last November.

The action: A 69 year old Seattle area woman said she is the victim of racism and anti-Muslim bias because she was not allowed to stretch out on a row of empty seats and take a snooze – as others were allowed to do.

The JetBlue flight attendant said she could not stay in her row of choice because it was an exit row and the woman was handicapped by limited English and physical limitations – but according to the Seattle Times report she was offered other empty rows to recline in. The passenger, a native of Pakistan, does not address this issue in the article.

More charges – the woman claims she was manhandled by crew members as she was escorted back to her assigned seat – and the flight attendant says the woman bruised her by grabbing her arm. The passenger also was said to be “unruly” and yelled and screamed at one point.

Bottom line: I suspect the language barrier was the real problem here. But – is that an excuse?

When the economy tanks, too often people become predators – and prey.

And according to USA Today, the hotel industry is increasingly feeling the effects of this. Most of the crime is theft, of course – as it always is – along with vehicle break-ins (just another form of thievery).

So what to do? You know what to do. I’m just here to remind you.

1. Anytime you’re in your room, make sure the door is shut and locked (bolt and chain, too).
2. Don’t bring expensive jewelry with you when you travel. If you do, keep it in the hotel safe – but you might want to check the extent of the hotel’s liability, just in case the safe is robbed.
3. Don’t open the door to strangers. So no ordering in. If you’re too tired to go out to eat, pick up something on your way back to the hotel.

See the rest of the tips — on Rick Seaney’s blog — right here.

The above words come from a Bloomingdale’s email – and yes, it does have to do with travel, though admittedly, it’s a stretch.

Bloomie’s, you see, is advertising vacation clothing – and this latest collection of theirs is called “chic, stylish and effortlessly versatile”. Sounds like a description of yours truly.

They do have some pretty clothes, though I cannot vouch for their effortless versatility-ish-ness – you’ll have to see for yourself, here – oh, and don’t miss the “Silk Romper” for $380.  Sheesh – we advertise flights for less than that.

Have fun, and safe travels.

And hey – summer is here – well, almost.

Get going on those airline tickets. Make it a SUPER summer vacation!

From your pals at Standard Upright Position and FareCompare

Information, as they say, is sketchy – but an American Airlines pilot did indeed fail a breath test at London’s Heathrow just before he was to pilot a plane to Chicago.

Apparently security staff as Heathrow noticed something amiss – alerted the police – and the unnamed pilot was tested. We are presuming this was for alcohol, but that is not known. The passengers had to cool their heels for awhile, as the airline had to hunt up a replacement.

I’d say it’s a good thing someone noticed something – the Chicago-bound flight carried 204 passengers – I can see the grim headlines now.

Stupid pilot. By drinking – or abusing another substance – you risked your career, your life, and the lives of so many others. Fortunately, you wound up only risking your career.

So tell us, pal- was it worth it?

This is kind of nice to report (well, the reporting was done by the New York Times, but you know what I mean): the survivors of that US Airways flight that landed in the Hudson in one piece, courtesy of Capt. Sully, are getting some of their their things back.

Now, of course, some of the stuff is pretty water-logged. And a lot of paper money appears to be missing, but – people are getting back some things that are in amazingly good shape, including clothes, laptops, jewelry, car keys and other stuff. I sure hope Capt. Sullenberger gets back that library book that he left on the plane.

The passengers are also getting an offer from the airline of $10,000 – if they promise not to sue. Some are not signing – at least for the moment.

What would you do?

Remember when boarding a plane was an occasion? When you didn’t have to worry about drunks onboard because flying was for the few – the elite?

Well, I remember, sonny, and it sure was nice!

Daniel L. Rust remembers too, and he’s got a big new book out that tells you all about those dear-dead-days called, “Flying Across America: The Airline Passenger Experience”. It got a good review from the Wall St. Journal so you might want to check it out.

Plus, it’s filled with cool vintage airline photos and ads – like the one you see at left.

Flying was nice then – plus, you didn’t have to worry about the lavatory running out of liquid soap because someone was busy drinking it.

This happened last summer.

A woman boarded a Southwest flight in Nashville, heading for somewhere in California (the story in the Tennessean is a little short on specifics) and she was texting on her cell phone. That’s when a male flight attendant “rudely” approached her and told her “to turn off [the] phone and buckle up.”

The nerve!

She claims she immediately complied. She also claims, that didn’t matter, because the flight attendant returned eight more times to tell the woman to turn off her phone. Finally the flight attendant threatened to throw her off the plane and the “exasperated” passenger basically responded with, “go ahead” – and they did. The pilot returned to the gate and off she went. According to her attorney, the charges were eventually dismissed and now she’s suing.

Seems to me there’s a whole lot missing from this report. I say this because I’m pretty sure flight attendants are busy enough without feeling the need to tell people to turn off cell phones that are already off. And call me crazy, but do pilots really bother returning planes to gates and trashing their airlines’ schedule all because someone complied with a crew request?

Southwest isn’t comment (pending suit and all) – but you can comment – below.

Well, at least we know the system works!

Someone among the flight crew (who? who??) on an American Airlines plane heading to Miami Monday accidentally flipped the switch that means, hijacking underway!

Only, there wasn’t one. Nevertheless, as CNN reported, “two fighter jets were scrambled from Homestead Air Reserve Base, and police and fire-rescue units flooded the tarmac.”

Okay, so we know it works. But I wonder how much that “scramble” cost anyway? I ought to get an answer, since I paid for that mistake – and you did, and you did, and everybody who pays their taxes did…

O Canada!

You tried to keep Lindsay Lohan out, didn’t you? Well, that’s what various reports say.

It seems the somewhat-down-on-her-luck starlet went to Montreal earlier this month, for a nightclub appearance (uh, like I said: down… luck…) but when she got in the airport, authorities allegedly interrogated her for about an hour because of DUI convictions.

They eventually let her in. On with the show!

A Queens, NY woman got into a bit of a scuffle aboard a JetBlue flight last summer.

It seems she lit up on the plane, even though nobody said the magic words, “Smoke if ya got ‘em.”

In fact, one cannot smoke on planes anymore, AS WE ALL KNOW. Ms. Queens however puffed away, and got angry when told to stop. In fact, she allegedly slugged a flight attendant.

Eventually, she’s hauled before a judge and receives a slap on the wrist – probation and a fine – plus orders to “seek out” anger management counseling. Alas, she was back in front of the judge again this week – for violating her probation – by allegedly assaulting her sister-in-law.

Now she’s being held without bail. Wonder who taught her anger management class? I’m thinking Wolverine…

I’m just following up from the story Rick posted on RickSeaney.com – and, as they say, it’s getting curiouser and curiouser.

The flight attendant in question (Kimberly Chase, 46 – works for Great Lakes Aviation) tried to get through security with two guns – handguns – and now the Denver Post is reporting that one of those guns was in fact loaded.

Money quote?

“The handguns were packed in a pink shoe bag in the front zipper pocket of a carry-on, according to a Denver Police Department report.” –Denver Post, 5-6-09

Interestingly, Ms. Chase was “interviewed and released” pending further investigation.

Would I have been released, had I done something so boneheaded? I doubt it!

She kicked at seats, then roamed the United plane, babbling incoherently.

And for the piece de resistance – she allegedly drank a dispenser of liquid hand soap from one of the plane’s lavatories.

Not surprisingly, the culprit – described as a Russian-born artist living in London – caused the LA to London flight to be diverted to Bangor, Maine. She apparently told authorities she consumed sleeping pills, prescription medications, an undetermined amount of alcohol – and yes, according to reports, liquid hand soap (a UK newspaper following the situation helpfully informs us that “liquid soap is sometimes consumed for its alcohol content”).

The woman’s explanation for all this? “It’s typical of me. I sometimes do crazy things.”

By the way, she’d gone to LA to meet up with someone she met online. I’m thinking somebody is counting their lucky stars right about now…

If you are Richard Branson, you pretty much have fun all day long.

Or so it seems.

But this is one really hard-working entrepreneur – after all, he has an empire to tend to, one that he built up from nothing.

Did you know Sir Richard was a high school drop-out? Do not tell the kids.

But see what he’s up to lately – and why he’s wearing those red, red shorts.