Who doesn’t love Guy Fieri? He’s always so – so happy.

But I guess I would be too if I could travel the country for the Food Network and eat things like Krazy Jim’s Blimpy Burger or Sweetie Pie’s Mac and Cheese.

Well, next time you’re on the road (or smashed between two sumo wrestlers in that comfy middle seat), check out this handy site – to find one of Guy’s Diners, Drive-ins or Dives – near you!

And here’s a tip for you Road Warriors out there – next time you have to take the CEO out to dinner, ditch the faux-French bistro in favor of one of these joints. You’ll be flying in the company jet in no time.

Thanks, Gadling – for once again showing the way.

A man aboard a JetBlue flight from New York to New Orleans last February (just a few days before Mardi Gras) – threw a what appeared to be a drunken fit on the plane, and could face some heavy time. Like, 29 years. Plus a million dollar fine.

That’s because the drunk in question – alleged drunk – made the mistake of claiming to be an Air Marshal. That’s called, impersonating a federal officer. He also claimed to be an airline pilot, and who knows what else.

Flight attendants said the man was loud and disruptive, as well as threatening. And he used the “b” word, the one that rhymes with rich.

Nola.com reports that a trial date (in New York) has been set for August.

Two rules to live by: Don’t get drunk on a plane. Don’t show up drunk. Don’t be stupid. Okay, that’s three rules, big deal.

Make that, walk and chew gum – at the same time!

It hadn’t been possible before at the fancy-schmancy Palm Beach International Airport in Florida because they banned gum sales for the past 20 years (“maintenance nightmare” according to ABC).

Until now, that is. What changed? Well, like most things, it all came down to filthy lucre.

You see, people like to buy and chew gum – and at least one shop at the airport estimated gum sales could bring in an additional $225,000 each year. Apparently, the county commissioners were moved by the shop’s plight – especially when someone pointed out that county itself could get an extra 50-grand from that revenue.

Ban lifted. Chomp away.

Yes, only in Idaho (I think) can you stay in a giant Beagle.

Just go to the Dog Bark Park Inn in Cottonwood, Idaho (population 942); the inn only has the one unit – the giant dog (seen at left, with smaller “decorative” dog beside it) – but they call it a B&B anyway, and it’s yours for $92 a night.

Amenities? Well – they have no phones, no TV – but they do have a nice breakfast, thick fluffy towels – and a nifty gift shop, where you can buy wooden Beagle statues (or other dogs) – all hand-carved by the proprietors using chainsaws. They’re a manly breed out in Idaho, you better believe it.

And yes, the Dog Bark Park Inn is pet-friendly. Bring Sparky and BoBo.

So retro – in a good way. And why not? Beagles are the most charming of dogs.

Thanks to the Los Angeles Times for finding this gem.

UPDATE: Gov. went to Buenos Aires, Argentina! Has now returned. Weird.

EARLIER: Fascinating case about “missing” South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford – and for those of you who think this is some sort of a liberal plot, I say ANY governor who takes off without security to parts unknown – at least, unknown (it seems) to spouse and staff – is asking for some scrutiny.

Especially since the story seems to keep changing. First, Sanford is hiking on the Appalachian Trail, and then he’s at Atlanta’s airport (according to a newshound over at Greenville’s WYFF News 4).

My theory: The governor was at Hartsfield-Jackson, because he found a great deal from FareCompare via Twitter – by following tweets from his home airport, @flyfromATL – and you can do the same, no matter where your airport is, by signing up here.

I’m sure that’s what happened – goodness knows it beats Mrs. Sanford’s statement, that the guv “was writing something and wanted some space to get away from the kids.” Ahem. You will recall that part of this disappearing act took place over Father’s Day.

Well, would you be happy?

As Gadling tells it, 70 passengers “refused to board their Thomas Cook plane in Mallorca, Spain this week because the airline had asked them to all sit in the back of the plane.”

Essentially, they were to act as ballast – a counterweight, if you will, for all the luggage that was stacked up in the front of the cabin. Why was it stacked there? Because the workers on the ground couldn’t get the rear cargo door open. I guess they lost the manual.

I suppose I would have been disturbed, too – but these folks then paid hundreds of dollars to fly other airlines home. Now that would have given me pause.

83 year old Ralph Squeglia has been flying planes since 1944. But where has he been landing them?

Yesterday he brought his single engine plane down near Miami on the busy Sawgrass Expressway, and called it a “perfect landing”.

His definition of “perfect” must be a little different from mine. Let’s see – he did miss hitting all those cars, but he clipped a wing on a light pole, the plane’s tail wing broke off – and, oh yeah – think I mentioned this – HE LANDED ON A HIGHWAY.

Nothing in the article about why he landed there – but Mr. Squeglia is quoted twice regarding that “perfect landing” of his. Whatever. I’m glad no one was hurt.

So you’ve never heard of Wizz Air?

Airbus has – and I’m sure they love Wizz Air, especially since the airline said it plans to buy 50 Airbus A320′s – for nearly $4 billion (at least, that’s the total according to list prices, but maybe those Wizzards cut a deal).

Wizz Air who? It’s a Hungarian budget airline that flies all over Europe – including places like Kyiv, Timisoara, Poznan as well as London, Paris and more. The CEO of Airbus calls it the “EasyJet of Central and Eastern Europe” and notes that it’s growing at a rate of 30% despite the fact that these are dog days for airlines.

Maybe they really are wizards.

Nobody’s quite sure why the driver of a construction vehicle at Boston’s Logan airport failed to stop at the runway like you’re supposed to, and why he failed to radio the control tower for permission to cross, like you’re supposed to.

He just headed on across runway, happy as can be – as US Airways Flight 27 was taking off for Phoenix. They came within seconds of an intense, fiery meeting. Near total fail.

Fortunately, the plane missed him, but this driver may be in a spot of trouble. The FAA is involved and nobody’s happy – I’m guessing the pilot who saw his life flashing before his eyes (and the lives of his 84 passengers) was probably unhappiest of all.

No word yet on why Mr. Oblivious drove where he drove, but one report says they will be looking into cell phone use. Or was he reading “Driving for Dummies” on his Kindle?

You may recall that after the September 11^th terror attacks, the TSA ordered that the so-called “privacy curtain” that separates first or business class and steerage economy class be taken down. But now they’re coming back!

Well, it’s happening on American Airlines, anyway. According to the Chicago Tribune, this is because of requests from first class passengers – and they are delighted with their new draperies.

Same thing at United – actually that carrier started doing this a few years back, “in response to requests from our customers for additional privacy and comfort.” Gotta love the Trib’s response to that:

“It’s not clear to us how the curtains improve privacy or exactly what passengers in first class are doing on flights that calls for the need for privacy.” -Chicago Tribune, 6-17-09

Goodness! But personally I think the real reason for the curtains is, class warfare. First class vs. economy. However, if the first-classers want to pay 10 times what my ticket cost, I say let ‘em have curtains.

You may remember the tale of these two fellows -if not, check this out – it’s a good read.

One of them was – allegedly – a rogue airline employee of US Airways. His buddy (and roommate) was a passenger on US Airways. Together, police say, they pulled the old switcheroo by exchanging carryon bags at the gate — so the passenger could board his plane with a handgun on him.

Both have now been formally charged in federal court.

Both are out on bail. I don’t know what else going on in the life and times of Mr. Passenger but Mr. Airline Employee is now Mr. Ex-Employee.

I saw this and thought, “What a good idea!” Then I saw the price tag. Well…

The product is called, Ekosteps – we’re talking disposable footwear – sort of a thong type of deal made from recycled paper. Picture thin-soled cardboard-ish flip flops. Or just look at the photo to the left.

Forget fashion, this is about function: Ekosteps are meant to protect your bare feet after you’ve put your shoes on the conveyor belt at security and now must make the trek through the metal detector in your socks, or worse, barefoot. Barefoot across a floor where oh so many other bare feet have already passed (ewwwwwww). Best of all, these are TSA approved!

These unisex Ekosteps are sold in packages of five pairs for $19.99 – and shipping will cost you another ten bucks. You can get more information from the Ekosteps website here.

Loved the piece about them in the Dallas Morning News – they noted that while these paper sandals are meant for one-time use, Ekosteps CEO Orin France said he’s worn a single pair “in daily activities for as long as two weeks.”

I want to know what “daily activities” means. Did he wear them to some swanky place for lunch? Was it raining?

You remember the “Miracle on the Hudson” – a splashy landing precipitated by Canada geese that got sucked into the aircraft’s engines.

Now, the geese must go.

Federal and local agencies begin a fairly aggressive goose-removal policy next week that will result in the demise of some 2,000 of the birds from scores of parks – all within five miles of New York airports.

Some critics say, why bother? One expert is quoted in a New York Times report as saying that 2,000 is a tiny fraction of the number of geese in the area – and that little will be accomplished without a long-term wild fowl management plan. Others say – it’s a good start.

Meanwhile, the geese — we are told –will be “humanely” euthanized.

That Dave.

In his Top Ten list the other night, he talked about the “Highlights of Sarah Palin’s Trip to New York”.

Number 2 on the list:

“Bought makeup from Bloomingdale’s to update her ‘slutty flight attendant’ look.” –David Letterman, June 8, 2009

Like flight attendants aren’t dealing with enough everyday insults.

Do you follow FareCompare on Twitter? You should.

Because FareCompare now has Tweets tailored to your home airport. Get it? That means you get a real-time heads-up about the deals that really matter to you.

You know how Rick Seaney is always saying that airlines never put a planeload of seats on sale – only a few of those seats are the super-cheapies. Okay, so if you get these new FareCompare tweets that tell you about the deals you want instantly – you’ll be first in line to grab one of these super-cheapies. And then you, my friend, will be a winner.

And you barely have to lift a finger. Okay, maybe one – so you can click here to follow FareCompare’s tweet from your home airport – just put in your airport and then click “follow” and you are good to go.

Try it. You will like it – because you will save a ton of money.

Dude! Whatta ya doin’ in there? Oh…never mind.

Apparently, a cigarette had nothing to do with it – but something was smoking on the Boeing 767 – and officials think it was actually the bathroom fan.

The American Airlines jetliner had been heading from New York to Zurich but made an emergency landing in Nova Scotia when smoke got in the cabin.

This was Tuesday night. I’d like to think that all 210 passengers are now happily yodeling in the Alps by now.

This is a new now-and-then feature which is going to rely on a fair amount of whimsy until some of you flight attendants step up to the plate and give us the real story.

Ever wonder what the most popular stewardess/flight attendant names were through the years? Me, too – only I couldn’t find that info anywhere.

But this is what I think they were. And I think these are the right ages. I think.

1. 1950′s: Emma –Average age 18
2. 1960′s: Debbie — Average age 22
3. 1970′s: Sunflower –Average age 25
4. 1980′s: Heather –Average age 28
5. 1990′s: Michael –Average age 35
6. 2000′s: Emma –Average age 65

*Things we’ve seen, heard, or thought we did.

Our friends at Gadling score again with a look at overlooked cities – you know, if you’ve only got time for one city, you go to Tokyo, not Osaka. But this report celebrates the charms of Osaka – and other “second” cities.

I can see their choice for Ireland – yes, obviously you go to Dublin – but don’t miss Galway. Good call – it’s a fun and charming city.

Wellington, New Zealand and Melbourne, Australia? I can see that too. But Chicago as the alternative to New York and LA? Sure it’s a great city, but – why not San Francisco? Or Boston? I’d rather go there – but, hey, it’s all so personal.

Take a look at their list – I like Barcelona in the Spain section – see what you like, and don’t like.

Did you know that Hollywood is one of the top tourist destinations in the world? And did you know that the movie star footprint place – Grauman’s Chinese Theatre – gets 4-million visitors a year? Did you know that’s more visitors than the Empire State Building in New York gets? More than the Palace of Versailles in France gets??

Well I didn’t know either, which is why we’re lucky to have the Los Angeles Times around to clue us in.

However, right now, business is down – the crowds are thinner and they’re not buying those little fake Oscars and other Tinseltown crap souvenirs. What to do?

Look for the discounts. If you’re ogling those movie star footprints and are approached by a representative of the venerable Starline Tours (think movie star houses) – bargain with them – chances are, they’ll cut the price of the $38 ticket. Or get a discount by purchasing online.

Or, if you can’t decide whether to go to the Hollywood Wax Museum, the Guinness World of Records Museum or Ripley’s Believe It or Not Museum – understandable. After all, the first two are $12.95 each and Ripley’s is $14.99, but – hold on to your hats – you can buy a ticket for all three for just $26.95. You do the math! God knows I can’t.

Remember the poor fellow who “ate something bad” and had to use the airline lavatory only it was blocked by a drink cart? So he ran to business class, but was stopped by a flight attendant who then claimed the man twisted her arm?

Well, basically federal prosecutors dropped the case – if he completes a three-month diversion program. Plus the man “had to acknowledge he did not handle the situation as well as he should have.”

My questions: Diversion program? Diversion from what? Makes you wonder if they’ll send him to bladder control school or something.

And don’t forget, this fellow already spent two nights in jail. I think he’s paid his debt to society, huh?

Okay, the finalists have been selected, and now YOU help choose the winner.

The winner being, the photograph that best represents America – especially to foreign visitors – you know, the people we want to entice into coming over here to help pump up our economy.

I suggested earlier that the perfect photo would be a cowboy motif – yes, I am so original – and indeed, some of the photographers appeared to heed my advice!

Tell you what: if five people comment and say which photo they voted for, I will tell you which one I chose (hint: I voted for the best photo).

A British newspaper reports that Prince Harry (that’s His Royal Highness Prince Henry Charles Albert David of Wales, to you) is struggling with math.

Me, too, but then I’m not going to fly a helicopter – and he sure hopes to.

In fact, young Harry is studying to become an Apache pilot – “the elite role for a British military aviator”. The UK’s Telegraph quotes the prince as saying, “The flying courses are so intense. It’s surprised me.”

This is where I might make a lame comment or two – but, on second thought – not today. Not with that Air France jet missing over the Atlantic.