I only pose the question because there are so many Zagat categories you can win in.

For example, one Virgin airline or another took top honors in five categories (fine with me, I like them) and JetBlue took two “firsts” (also terrific) and Southwest won three awards.

Conspicuous by their absence in this cornucopia of blue ribbonry was Delta, United, US Airways.

Yep, the (sort of) little guys do it again. Hey, thanks, Jaunted!

The always thoughtful Christopher Elliott has some valuable advice for airline miles club members: “assume nothing”.

What he means is, don’t assume you have enough miles for that free trip, and don’t assume your miles are sitting there waiting for you.

That’s because miles clubs change the rules all the time, and what you think you have, may no longer exist.

One thing you can do: check that little box that says something like, “Yes, I want to receive an endless chain of airline email telling me about my miles” – because, chances are, you could learn something, and avoid a nasty surprise when you go to use those miles.

Today, we ask the burning question: Who is more virtually pleasant, Alaska Airlines’ Jenn or Continental Airlines’ Alex?

Both virtual assistants want to answer all of your booking and travel questions, and both seem to genuinely like you. Meet Jenn and Meet Alex, and visit the FareCompare Facebook page to tell us who you prefer.

You remember “Catch Me if You Can” – the movie/book about Frank Abagnale, Jr – a one-time teen con-man who pretended to be an airline pilot? Sure you do – think, DiCaprio.

Anyway, a 17 year old lad from Yorkshire, England persuaded some British aviation officials that he was about to launch his own airline. He set up “virtual offices”, held meetings, wrote articles for industry publications and – was eventually found out.

Turns out the kid suffers from a form of autism that (according to his dad) gives him the “ability to recall the exact detail of every airline’s flight schedules” – plus he is a very “enterprising and creative individual”. However, this also tends to make the boy’s behavior “highly challenging.” I guess so.

Wouldn’t it be great if he could somehow harness all that energy and really make it work for him? I hope he does own his own airline someday. If anyone could do it – and do it right – I suspect it’s this kid.

Imagine have a phone app that would basically take over your life for you – at least when you’re going on a trip.

The people at zdnet.com quote an airline tech guy as saying, “if you are getting out of your car at the airport, the app that has the details of your flight realizes you have not checked in and lights up and asks you whether you want to check-in.” That has always been my spouse’s job, but I think he’d give it up.

Want more? The article says such an app could “detect when a traveler misses their connection after an incoming flight has been delayed, and then automatically books a seat on the next onward flight”.

They say this could be a reality in another 12 to 18 months. Could be.

Well, that’s good enough for me. Heck, I don’t even have an iPhone, but I’d get this app.

So you’ve never heard of Wizz Air?

Airbus has – and I’m sure they love Wizz Air, especially since the airline said it plans to buy 50 Airbus A320’s – for nearly $4 billion (at least, that’s the total according to list prices, but maybe those Wizzards cut a deal).

Wizz Air who? It’s a Hungarian budget airline that flies all over Europe – including places like Kyiv, Timisoara, Poznan as well as London, Paris and more. The CEO of Airbus calls it the “EasyJet of Central and Eastern Europe” and notes that it’s growing at a rate of 30% despite the fact that these are dog days for airlines.

Maybe they really are wizards.

Ever hear of Gulfstream International Airlines? Nah, me either. But I probably should know it, so never mind.

In any event, it’s real, it’s based in Ft. Lauderdale, and it’s being considered for a $1.3 million fine by the FAA – so says the Wall St. Journal.

Pilots and other employees have alleged that the airline falsified records so Gulfstream pilots could work longer hours – longer hours than federal safety rules allow. The company has indicated there may have been one instance of this but it was not done with “the intent of skirting the rules.” Heck no!

Gee – tired pilots -

What more is there to say?

Remember when boarding a plane was an occasion? When you didn’t have to worry about drunks onboard because flying was for the few – the elite?

Well, I remember, sonny, and it sure was nice!

Daniel L. Rust remembers too, and he’s got a big new book out that tells you all about those dear-dead-days called, “Flying Across America: The Airline Passenger Experience”. It got a good review from the Wall St. Journal so you might want to check it out.

Plus, it’s filled with cool vintage airline photos and ads – like the one you see at left.

Flying was nice then – plus, you didn’t have to worry about the lavatory running out of liquid soap because someone was busy drinking it.

Andy,

Read your recent column in the Albany Times Union. Love that second line: “Travel is still so expensive that I think people ought to stay home.”

Andy – travel is not expensive; it’s cheaper than it’s been in years. Seriously – (plug alert) if you need proof, go to FareCompare and see for yourself.

Now, let’s look at your third paragraph where you write: “Is everything done around your house? If you don’t like it, sell it, otherwise stick around on vacation and take your pleasure doing the things that need to be done.”

Andy, Andy – you sound like my mother. First of all, according to Webster’s, the word vacation is from the Latin “vacatio”, meaning “being free from a duty or service”. In other words, IT MEANS YOU’RE ON VACATION AND YOU DON’T HAVE TO WORK AROUND THE HOUSE. Sorry to be so loud, but c’mon.

One last thing – you gave another reason for not traveling that was almost a throwaway line, to wit: “Many hotels still have the shower in the bathtub, which I dislike…”

Andy, Andy, ANDY! Boy, the rich are different. Don’t you know that fancy bathrooms with separate tub and shower facilities are, uh, not found in most American homes — let alone, hotels? Yeah, regular folks have showers in tubs – those lucky enough to have tubs at all.

Andy, write us. Call us. We’ll get you a good deal. And a bangin’ bathroom, too.

Love,

Your Pals at Standard Upright Position

(Once again, thanks, Gadling) ]]> http://standarduprightposition.com/2009/04/16/andy-rooney-hates-travel-we-show-him-the-error-of-his-ways/feed/ 0 http://standarduprightposition.com/2009/04/08/here-comes-the-sun-the-beatles-and-pan-am/ http://standarduprightposition.com/2009/04/08/here-comes-the-sun-the-beatles-and-pan-am/#comments Wed, 08 Apr 2009 18:52:19 +0000 anne http://standarduprightposition.com/?p=4111

Nice story on the Beatles in the Los Angeles Times today – which reminds us that they began touring America 45 years ago.

Tempus fugit.

One of the things I liked best about the piece is the photo – there are the boys in front of an old Pan Am plane (a Pan Am Boeing 707-321 to be precise). Notice John clutching his little Pan Am bag – the sort of thing airlines used to give away as part of their, ahem, customer service.

Well, Pan Am as an entity lasted a little longer than the Fab Four did – it wouldn’t collapse until 1991. But the airline lives on, in movies like the early James Bond films, “2001″, “Scarface” and “Catch Me If You Can”.

Oh, and don’t worry about the boys – I understand their music is still doing pretty well.