Yes, you won’t be finding any grizzlies at Juneau International at the moment - but this is not to say you shouldn’t keep a sharp eye out in the parking lot.

According to a report in the Kansas City Star, there was an “accidental discharge of anti-bear spray” at the airport that serves Alaska’s capital - and it shut down the airport for 90 minutes.

Now I’ve got some questions:

• 1. Why do people from Kansas care about this?
• 2. What’s in bear repellent - I mean, what could possibly repel them — the smell of Godzilla?
• 3. What was “anti-bear spray” doing at the airport?
• 4. Did the Governor have any comment on this?

If any of you out there can provide answers, our operators are standing by.

Let see…Alaska…killer polar bears…death-inducing cold…murderous mosquitoes…

Okay, Alaska Airlines doesn’t care what I think, but they do want to know what the state’s schoolchildren think, and in order to do so, they’ve started a “Paint the Plane” contest.

Here’s the deal: whoever comes up with a design that “best captures the theme of ‘The Spirit of Alaska’” will get to see that design painted on one of the carrier’s aircraft. And there’s a prize, too - the winner gets to go to…Disneyland!

Wait a sec — they had to go out of state for a decent prize?

Just kidding, I do like Alaska. It’s beautiful. Now go enter the contest - but please, the killer polar bear concept has been spoken for.