A naked man was running around an American Airlines flight from Boston to Los Angeles Saturday, when Naked Man thought it would be a good idea to open an emergency door in mid-flight (by the way, that can’t be done).

A soccer team on the same plane, the New England Revolution, thought that was a bad idea, and restrained him.

Plane landed (unplanned) in Oklahoma City so Naked Man could go to a crisis center for “observation”. Soccer team went on to win World Cup. Well, not really. But they’re aces in my book.

This latest party boy incident (okay, sometimes these incidents involve party girls) was on an American flight yesterday (Dallas to Charlotte) when our hero got a little too happy.

What’s too happy?

According to gadling.com, in this case “too happy” was throwing ice around the cabin, saying bad words, and grabbing a flight attendant’s uh, hind-quarters. Happy juice of choice: rum and coke.

No doubt you’re thinking “crazed businessman” or “carefree-young-lad-making-merry-on-boring-flight” but you’d be wrong.

Party boy was traveling with the wife and kiddies.

How’s that spelled again? Oh, yeah. L-O-S-E-R.

Okay, you’re the pilot of an American Airlines plane, on the runway at Dallas heading to Paris. You and/or your colleagues hear the following:

1. Loud noises (from the belly of the plane)
2. Loud shaking noises
3. An explosion

What do you do?

A. Stop the plane
B. Stop the plane!
C. Keep flying to Paris

If you guessed C., you too can work for American Airlines! (Yeah, yeah, they all got to Paris safely, even though a panel to the air-conditioning system popped off, blah, blah…but…I mean, really).