Ugly story. Two pit bulls who were going to be shipped overseas on a Korean Air flight, got into a “vicious fight” in an air cargo building at Dulles; a cop tried to break up the fight with pepper spray, but it didn’t work and he wound up shooting the dogs.

These dogs were originally in separate kennels – but one chewed his way out, then chewed his way in to the other dog’s container – and the fight was on.

It’s not clear where these dogs were going, or what they were supposed to do when they got there…

Pamela Anderson as a TSA officer?

Yes, that’s in the new TV commercial by the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) – and that’s not all. Look for plenty of washboard abs, zipper pulling and naked couples.

Tons of visual overload in this one – only, it’s not playing in airports as PETA envisioned -no one will run it. Or is that what they had in mind all along? Making it a viral sensation instead?

If you must see the ad, I’m sure you can find it, but don’t look for it here. I like to think of this as a family values blog, the main value being, don’t do naked stuff for the cameras.

It takes 3 wranglers. That’s according to the Kansas City, Mo. Aviation Dept.

The horses in question, by the way, are rodeo horses – and they flew to Spain yesterday. They will be stars of the Rodeo Europe Tour 2009 in Madrid, which is held Sept. 18-19.

The animals were flown by Instone Air Services of Durango, Colorado in case any of you need to transport rodeo nags – and I’m guessing there was plenty of room, since the plane in question was a 747.

Why’d they fly out of Kansas City? Good location, I guess – and they’re used to this kind of thing. As the press release says,

“In the past KCI Airport has handled a charter of 119 pregnant Holstein heifers to Fukuoka, Japan, a shipment of ostriches, an alligator and other animals.“

Not altogether, I trust. I’d be a little concerned about the shy and retiring alligator in the presence of those vicious Holsteins.

Fish, fowl or fun-loving humans, we are all Somebody’s creatures – so the death of 4,000 tropical fish is not to be taken lightly (especially since they were worth about half a million dollars).

Cause of death: unclear. But the 15 hours it took to clear customs in brutal summer heat at the Black Sea resort of Sochi ought to tell you something, I suppose.

The picturesque piscinies (what — you never made up a word?) were heading toward Sochi Discovery World — Russia’s largest oceanarium – when tragedy struck. And it was a tragedy to the oceanarium’s director who called it an “atrocity unseen anywhere else in the world.”

Think I’ll beg to differ on that one…

In September, the skies will be filled with cats and dogs – so says USA Today.

It’s not a bizarre weather forecast – it’s an effort by private pilots to remove some 5,000 dogs and cats (and other creatures) from overcrowded shelters and bring them to other parts of the country where there is “space and demand for them.” In other words, they’re being removed from facilities where euthanasia is the answer to overcrowding, in favor of “no kill” shelters.

Nice. Don’t know if you know this, but about 6 million shelter animals are put to death each year.

I don’t want to sound like Bob Barker or anything, but you can blame all these deaths on stupid pet owners. Anyone who refuses to have their animal spayed/neutered shouldn’t have a pet. Can’t afford the procedure? Then you can’t afford a pet.

If you like creepy critter stories, you’ve come to the right blog! See our previous posts about “pests on a plane” which include snakes – ticks – mice – crocodiles – and soap-swilling drunks.

A family flying Southwest from Phoenix to Indianapolis got a surprise during the flight – the dad was stung by a scorpion.

In case you’re wondering, he told ABC News that it felt “like being stung by 30 to 50 bees all at the same time”. Owwww.

Nobody’s sure how these scorpions (there were a few of them) got on the plane, but there are suspicions that they might have arrived via the family’s luggage – they are certainly common enough in Arizona – but nobody really seems to know.

Southwest arranged for medical treatment for Dad on arrival in Indianapolis – and he is reportedly going to be fine. But still – yuck.

Here’s what we know about pigs:

1. Pigs are cute

2. Swimming pigs are cuter

3. Swimming WITH swimming pigs is cutest

By now you’re probably thinking, “How can I swim with these amazing pigs?” Easy: just go to Pig Beach on Big Major Spot Island in Exumas of the Bahamas. Got that?

Here’s the location explanation from the Bahamas tourism website:

“A highlight for many vacationers is the famous swimming pigs at tiny Major Cay, a short boat ride from Staniel Cay. Not only is it a great place for snorkeling and beach bumming, it’s a hoot to frolic in the surf with the pigs. Remember to bring a snack for the swimming swine.”

Just watch where you step (not a good time to forget your flip flops). And thanks, Jaunted.

Good news for those of us who will be traveling with pets through the American Airlines Terminal at JFK: the carrier has installed a new “Pet Relief Area”.

It’s a grassy patch of…well, grass…located on the departure level and it includes a lovely red fire hydrant and a “Mutt Mitt” dispenser (and trash barrel) for getting rid of Sparky’s work product.

Don’t you love PR-speak? A sample: “Pets that travel have comfort needs, too.” The press release goes on to say this gives our “canine or feline friends a final chance to relieve themselves” before hopping on the plane.

Have you ever tried to get a dog to go? Taken Sparky outside at midnight – and begged him to hurry up because you were desperate to get to bed? Of course you have. And did he go? Of course he didn’t.

Yes, only in Idaho (I think) can you stay in a giant Beagle.

Just go to the Dog Bark Park Inn in Cottonwood, Idaho (population 942); the inn only has the one unit – the giant dog (seen at left, with smaller “decorative” dog beside it) – but they call it a B&B anyway, and it’s yours for $92 a night.

Amenities? Well – they have no phones, no TV – but they do have a nice breakfast, thick fluffy towels – and a nifty gift shop, where you can buy wooden Beagle statues (or other dogs) – all hand-carved by the proprietors using chainsaws. They’re a manly breed out in Idaho, you better believe it.

And yes, the Dog Bark Park Inn is pet-friendly. Bring Sparky and BoBo.

So retro – in a good way. And why not? Beagles are the most charming of dogs.

Thanks to the Los Angeles Times for finding this gem.

You remember the “Miracle on the Hudson” – a splashy landing precipitated by Canada geese that got sucked into the aircraft’s engines.

Now, the geese must go.

Federal and local agencies begin a fairly aggressive goose-removal policy next week that will result in the demise of some 2,000 of the birds from scores of parks – all within five miles of New York airports.

Some critics say, why bother? One expert is quoted in a New York Times report as saying that 2,000 is a tiny fraction of the number of geese in the area – and that little will be accomplished without a long-term wild fowl management plan. Others say – it’s a good start.

Meanwhile, the geese — we are told –will be “humanely” euthanized.

Yes, snakes on a plane – a plane in Australia, wouldn’t ya know.

But alas, no Samuel L. Jackson. On the plus side, nobody got snake bit. Not that it would have mattered. The snakes – four baby Stimson pythons – are non-venomous – they were also non-materializing when Qantas employees went to look for them in the cargo bay. Yikes.

They never did find them – and eventually the plane was fumigated and returned to service.

Poor snakes – they met nearly as ignominious an end as Mr. Jackson’s movie.

Yes, this sounds nutty – but what the heck.

Once again, I bring you a Hint from Heloise, courtesy of a woman who doesn’t own a bathroom scale…

“Dear Heloise: Where can I weigh my bags before going to the airport? My vet’s office! It has front-door parking, with the scale a few feet inside the front door and at floor level, thus no high lifting.” –Carolyn in Va.

Heloise’s response was to call the vet first to get permission. Such a nice lady!

My response? Buy a scale.

Looking for a dirty hotel? Okay, looking to read about a dirty hotel? You, my friend, have come to the right place.

TripAdvisor has the list – and boy, is it a horror show.

I won’t keep you in suspense: the winner (based on TripAdvisor reviews) is the Hotel Carter in New York City, which garnered such comments as this gem from a guest who clearly knows her wildlife.

“Roaches, rats, mice, horrible smells, dirty sheets, horrifying bathrooms, outlets that hang out of walls… Just to name a few, but the worst part about it was that at 4am I woke up to a bunch of guys breaking into our hotel room while we were sleeping!!” -Jasmine, on the Hotel Carter

Funny, the hotel’s website mentions nothing about hot-and-cold running rodents. But in the future, Jasmine, here’s a tip: any New York City hotel that advertises rooms for $110 a night, just might be a wee bit on the skanky side.

You’ve got airline tickets (purchased in June) for a big trip to Rio de Janeiro – for travel this month. Then, according to the Los Angeles Times, tragedy strikes:

“About a month ago, Biffy*, our 27-year-old cat (that is not a typo) was diagnosed with chronic renal failure. The vet said he had two weeks. [But] the next thing you know, he’s at least 90% of what he used to be. But he requires intensive care. The airline tells me that I have only one year from the date of my ticket purchase to travel. Can anything be done?” –LA Times Reader

The answer given was: unless these were refundable tickets – there’s not much that can be done. In other words, use it or lose it.

Alright, wait a sec here: Biffy* is already 27-freakin’ years old! Not to be cruel, but – how much longer can he last?

Then I do a Google search for “oldest cats” and – it turns out the Bifster* is a spring chicken. You see, not too long ago, there was a certain Creme Puff of Austin, Texas who didn’t go to his reward until he was 38…

Get well soon, Biffy*.

*not his real name

One of Gadling’s talented writers blogged about his recent (last weekend) on-the-tarmac delay at Boston’s Logan.

It was all due to a free-range poodle – who’d slipped the surly bonds of whoever was supposed to be looking after him, to go on the lam.

Eventually, poodle was found, plane took off, and all was well.

Win-win — for me, too, since I got to use another cute dog picture, and yes, I am well aware that the picture I chose to use is not a poodle – I simply do not care for poodles.

If you like baby animals, your heart will stop when you see the inspired “travel tip” on how-to-pack-a-puppy.

THERE IS A PICTURE! And, step-by-step directions.

This super tip comes to you courtesy of Cute Overload and if you don’t like this site, your heart has already stopped because clearly you quit breathing long ago.

What can I say? This – is cute.

Yes, you won’t be finding any grizzlies at Juneau International at the moment – but this is not to say you shouldn’t keep a sharp eye out in the parking lot.

According to a report in the Kansas City Star, there was an “accidental discharge of anti-bear spray” at the airport that serves Alaska’s capital – and it shut down the airport for 90 minutes.

Now I’ve got some questions:

• 1. Why do people from Kansas care about this?
• 2. What’s in bear repellent – I mean, what could possibly repel them — the smell of Godzilla?
• 3. What was “anti-bear spray” doing at the airport?
• 4. Did the Governor have any comment on this?

If any of you out there can provide answers, our operators are standing by.

Can’t imagine how I missed this. An Atlantic Southeast Airlines flight attendant was arriving for work at dawn for a Des Moines to Atlanta flight when she spotted a stowaway.

Eek! A mouse!

So naturally that led to a 5-hour delay. Workers had to see if he gnawed through anything important, like the “this-cable-flies-the-plane” cable.

So what happened next?

Where is Samuel L. Jackson when you need him?

In a bizarre B-movie moment, a young Saudi man was detained at Cairo Airport after it was discovered he was trying to carry a bag full of live reptiles onto the plane. Yep, a bag full of live reptiles. Among the reptilian horde discovered by horrified security officers were 250 baby crocodiles, various chameleons, and just to make Samuel L. proud, a slithering Cobra eager to escape.

Why would someone try to bring live reptiles onto a plane, you ask? Well, according to the man, they were needed at Saudi University for scientific experiments. Officials have other ideas, saying that this is the largest Nile crocodile smuggling attempt in aviation history. Either way, the reptiles were turned over to the zoo, and the young man was sent on his way. No news yet as to how Hollywood execs are planning to capitalize.