The one-time Qantas flight attendant who at first suggested actor Ralph Fiennes lured her into a lavatory for aeronautical hijinks awhile back, then later revealed she did the luring – was in court the other day because of “an alleged incident outside a restaurant”.

The case was continued. By the way, she no longer works for Qantas.

It hasn’t been all beer and skittles for Fiennes, either. Couple of years ago, Keith Olbemann named the Oscar-nominee as one of his endless parade of “worst people in the world” for his part in what the UK tabloids have called the mile-high “romp”. C’mon, Keith, surely there were more deserving contenders…

I know the world is waiting on this one.

According to TMZ (and say what you like, they were right on Michael Jackson), Britney Spears seemed to sweep through security at LAX with an exceedingly large cup (Big Gulp?) that she put to her mouth again and again.

And as we all know, TSA rules say, bringing liquid thru security is a no-no.

Good news, though – TMZ updated their post to say Britney’s cup contained ice chips - so it was okay!

And indeed, on the video, she can in fact be seen crunching after taking a “swig”.

Gisele (that’s Mrs. Tom Brady to you) has just passed her written test for helicoptering; now she has to acquire more flight time before passing the flying part.

Why is the supermodel doing this? Hey, just because they’re supermodels doesn’t mean they’re dumb – besides, she’s not blond. Apparently, she wants to be able to commute quickly between Boston (Brady’s football HQ) and New York (where Gisele does modeling).

Besides, these are very rich people, and as Fitzgerald once said, the rich are different (to which Hemingway responded, yeah, they have more money!).

Well, it was a controversy – but it’s over now.

Seems a move to rename tiny Souther Field of Americus, Georgia ran into some opposition from the locals – who weren’t thrilled by the sound of “Jimmy Carter Regional Airport”.

Some of those nay-sayers said it was a matter of history – for 90 years, the little airfield was called Souther in honor of Maj. Henry Souther, a WWI Army aviation pioneer.

If they were going to rename it for anyone, why not Charles Lindbergh? He lived at Souther Field for a few weeks back in 1923 while he learned to fly (he bought his first plane at Souther, for $500). But maybe it would get confused with San Diego.

Whatever – Souther is now Carter – at the moment, anyway. The former president said he figured in another 20 or 30 years, it would be time to change the name again.

O tempora o mores!

Here’s a fine mess.

A former flight attendant aboard Oprah Winfrey’s private jet says she was fired after being accused of having sex on the plane (while it was on the ground).

I’m not going to speculate as to who Corrine Gehrls’ partner was but the chief pilot was fired, too. They both say, it never happened, and they passed polygraphs.

Oprah’s not the only one being sued -flight attendant Kirby Bumpus is also a target, as she is supposedly one of those who made the accusation against Gehrls.

Bumpus, by the way, is the daughter of Gayle King, the stereotypical BFF – and Oprah’s constant sidekick. Bumpus is also Oprah’s goddaughter.

We told you about Ashton and Demi and their rough landing earlier this summer – now let us tell you about Brooke and Belushi!

Okay, not much to tell, but that didn’t stop People magazine from blogging about it – anyway, it seems Brooke Shields and Jim Belushi were on a Cessna, which landed at a little private airstrip at Hearst Castle in San Simeon (and, if you haven’t been to this coastal California landmark, you really should go – it’s just beautiful).

Anyway, the pilot didn’t turn on the brakes (maybe, “turn on” is the wrong expression, but they were not doing their job) and the little plane hit an SUV and – BOOM went the dynamite.

Okay, maybe not quite “boom” but the plane broke its mirror and gave the vehicle a good scrape, but there were no injuries. Except to the SUV. And it was a rental.

Why were these celebs there in the first place? “Attending a private function” according to People – and goodness knows what that could mean.

Goodness gracious, weren’t we just talking about the Snoopster and his penchant for airport hijinks?

Well, it’s happened again – at Beirut International. Seems, rapper Snoop Dogg was there, heading out after a concert in Lebanon, when he was stopped by security.

Mr. Dogg was wearing a necklace of old bullet casings – no, no, it’s not what you think – this is the latest thing from a company called Bullets 4 Peace, which sells artistic ammo pieces (like the one at left – price: $275). Some of the money is said to go to charity but I don’t know how much or to what charities (though the site does feature a logo for one of Madonna’s pet causes).

Anyway, hard to believe, but bullets are still no laughing matter in Lebanon, so there was a bit of an “issue” and the Doggalator’s necklace was confiscated.

Wonder why a guy with his airport history doesn’t just break down and get a private plane?

We’re not going to debate the merits of that director’s arrest here – there are plenty of other sites that are doing that. Instead, we will talk venues: like that airport in Zurich (ZRH).

After all, airports have been serving up Hollywood arrestees (and others) since forever. Some memorable busts over the years featured these celebrities – followed by a brief synopsis of the allegations against them:

• Paul McCartney, in Tokyo (NRT), 1980 – marijuana
• Christian Slater, in New York (JFK), 1994 — firearm
• Axl Rose, in Phoenix (PHX), 1998 – disorderly conduct
• Dionne Warwick, in Miami (MIA), 2002 — marijuana
• Richard Simmons, in Phoenix (PHX), 2004 – slapping a man in the face

And there’s Snoop Dogg. In 2006 – he was arrested in London (LHR) and John Wayne in Orange County, Calif. (SNA) and Bob Hope in Burbank (BUR) – on a variety of charges.

You probably heard about this: Scott Weiland of the reconstituted Stone Temple Pilots was flying from LA to Miami last week (no private jet – it was an American Airlines flight) when, he had a seizure.

His folks have tried to downplay it, but it was serious enough for American to make an unscheduled stop in Dallas and have the frontman taken to a hospital.

But he proved his resilience – yet again – when he was back performing 24 hours later.

All the reports noted that Weiland has “a history of seizures”. Ah.

Imagine you’re Gisele Bundchen -you’re a cool and beautiful person married to a famous quarterback and you’re several months pregnant. What do you do?

You take helicopter lessons. At least that’s what the Patriot Ledger of Quincy, Mass. tells us. She’s taking lessons out at Marshfield Airport, south of Boston. And naturally, she’s terrific – or so says the guy who runs the helicopter company: “She’s excellent. She’s one of the best pilots we’ve ever seen.”

Of course she is. But then, she’s Gisele Bundchen – Supermodel.