Isn’t that a great headline? You can thank WCBS TV. Stressful flight. Here we go…

It seems an attorney from New York is suing Delta for $5 million because the airline’s alleged incompetence and indifference left him stranded last October because of an airport workers strike. So…it was the airport at fault? Well, no, says Mr. Lawyer — Delta’s at fault because apparently passengers couldn’t rebook flights over the phone; they had to go to the “chaotic” airport. He eventually flew home via American — and Delta didn’t reimburse him.

I’d like to hear the other side — unfortunately, Delta’s people have that “Pending-Litigation-Must-Not-Comment” thing going.

But, here’s the kicker — know where the guy was “stranded”?

He was “stranded” — in Paris. For four long days. Poor baby!

Alright, alright…nobody likes being “stranded” anywhere, I get it. But if everyone sued because of “stressful” flights — we’d never have to worry about flying ever again because we’d all own huge and numerous private jets with Batman as our personal pilot because we’d all be RICH.

Can’t imagine how I missed this. An Atlantic Southeast Airlines flight attendant was arriving for work at dawn for a Des Moines to Atlanta flight when she spotted a stowaway.

Eek! A mouse!

So naturally that led to a 5-hour delay. Workers had to see if he gnawed through anything important, like the “this-cable-flies-the-plane” cable.

So what happened next?

Our clever boss has done it again — in his latest column for ABCNews.com, Mr. FareCompare tells us what to do if we’re trapped in an airport because of delays or cancellations.

But even better, Mr. FC (that’s Rick Seaney to you) has his own post about this, COMPLETE WITH VITAL LINKS.

CHECK THEM OUT. YOU’LL BE GLAD YOU DID. I PROMISE.

Done shouting now.

The Bureau of Transportation Statistics has spoken, and it looks like Chicago O’Hare has the worst on-time departure percentage once again.

For the second straight year, the Second City’s mammoth airport has let more than a few travelers down when it comes to getting them to where they need to go on-time. Passenger traffic and weather of course affect O’Hare’s ability to keep on-time departure percentages up, but other “bad weather” and busy airports faired considerably better.

Congratulations are in order for Salt Lake City. With on-time departures at 84.94%, SLC ranked #1 among major airports.

Check out rickseaney.com for the complete rankings.

So there you are, sitting on your United flight out of D.C. on Thanksgiving Day, congratulating yourself for cleverly avoiding the crowds the day before. You figure, heck, I’ll still get to Grandma’s in Sacramento in plenty of time for turkey, but NOOOO.

It seems one of your fellow passengers just had to make like a bull and charge the cockpit. So the captain declares an emergency. And you land in…Fargo. As in North Dakota.

Nobody was hurt. Oh, except Grandma. Cuz you were late.

Oh, that Matt. What, you’re Stephen King now? Always trying to get us riled up with something (and it works; we read drudgereport.com religiously).

And, yes, he’s right, the weather for Thanksgiving travel is not looking so hot in certain parts of the country but them’s the breaks.

If you had done everything my boss over at FareCompare has been telling you to do for the past 6-months, you wouldn’t have any worries. Well, you wouldn’t have so many. Besides, Mr. Drudge…turkey doesn’t spoil that quickly.

Folks show up late, a day, couple days, big deal. Leftovers. Mmmm.

Was looking up a friend’s flight on Southwest Airlines, checking to see if there were any delays, and saw these Words ‘O Wisdom from the management (and I quote):

“A flight currently shown as delayed may, depending on the circumstances, depart on-time. Therefore, we strongly advise you to check in for the flight one hour prior to its originally scheduled departure time.”

It is a wee bit Alice-in-Wonderland, but the point is, just because a website SEZ your flight’s delayed, dont start dawdling.

Our CEO took this question on a few months ago from a reader and had some pretty darn good advice.

If they get the problem fixed before they thought they could, the plane WILL take off…with you, or without you.

And I suspect this is true for ALL airlines. What do they say, better safe than sorry? Or is it, a stitch in time save nine? Just obey all cliches.