Wonderful story in the LA Times today (by Bob Pool) about a flight attendant who passes out crayons — to adults.

Jewel Van Valin started doing this after 9/11 to calm the nerves of anxious passengers.

It worked. People liked it. They still like it. And Van Valin has collected and kept them all. Now the Delta flight attendant is looking for a place to display what she calls this “Plane Art”. They should be seen, she says, because “many of these are very good.”

She’s right. See them for yourself.

What IS it with drunken passengers these days?

Used to be, they’d just sit there and get quietly soused. Today, they grab various portions of flight attendant personageorget real drunk and claim to be aterrorist (can you get any stupider?).

Our latest party boy was a first class passenger on Delta (see — it’s not just the rabble in coach);he got mad because he saw “lesser” passengers being allowed to deplane ahead of him. So, he put on his thinking cap, and decided HE’D deplane first — by pulling open an emergency hatch and sliding down the chute — whee!

A police officialsaid the man appeared intoxicated.And yourfirst clue was…?

A Delta official said,the manwill pay for his unauthorized ride.

It looks like we have another case on our hands of airline employees behaving badly.

Two former Delta Air Lines employees, a pilot and his fiancee flight attendant, are going to court for possession of opium poppies, which as reported by the Salt Lake City Tribune is a third-degree felony, punishable by up to five years in prison and a fine of up to $5,000.

Now, it should be pointed out that at the poppies the two were in possession of can be purchased online, and that prosecutors acknowledge that “they’re everywhere.” However, along with the poppies, a small amount of marijuana and drug paraphernalia was found in the couple’s bedroom, leading to misdemeanor charges in addition to the felony charges.

Both the pilot and the flight attendant have been let go from Delta Air Lines (although the pilot reports that he retired, while the flight attendant claims she was fired). The real catch of the case is that the defendants claim the opium poppies were purchased for decorative purposes only. Regardless of why they wanted them, in the State of Utah possessing opium poppies is “the same as possessing cocaine or heroin.”

We’ll keep you informed to let you know how the decorating defense goes over, and whether or not the two former Delta Air Lines employees can have the felony charges dropped.

Yes, it’s true. Delta is shutting down 9 of its 42 members-only airport lounges.

If you’re a rich guy (membership costs $300 to $600 a year) and you fly to Boston, Cincinnati, Denver, Honolulu, Kansas City, London, Phoenix, or Seattle — well, by the end of the month, you’re outta luck. Delta’s shutting them down, to save money.

Not being a rich guy, I can only dream of the exotic charms of these lounges: naugahyde seats? A listless wait-staff? All the peanut packs you can hold?

No matter. 9 lounges will disappear. By the end of this month.