No, Plant fans, it’s not what you think – we are saying happy birthday to the zeppelin aircraft – you know, the blimp.

And the reason is, it carried the first paying passengers in the air back in 1909 so it officially gets credit for being the first air travel conveyance – plus, because it is now 2009, that means all this happened 100 years ago which is a nice, round anniversary-type number – so you, dear readers, get a post out of it.

By the way, this was not cheap travel: a jaunt from Duesseldorf to Lucerne set one back about $1,860 in today’s dollars, but that wouldn’t have been a problem for that lady who’s sure all that glitters is gold.

Arghhh.

This was going to be a post playing off last night’s Emmys – you know, “You missed the Emmys, so why not fly to the 2010 Oscars” (March 7, 2010) — that type of thing.

In other words, how to be one of those geeks on the bleachers looking on at all the red carpet entrances outside the Kodak Theater – but – the deadline to nab those seats just ended!

Here’s the plan for Oscars 2011: go to the Academy Awards official website starting next summer – and look for an announcement about registering for the bleacher seats lottery (this year, registration was from 9/14 thru 9/20). Sometime in October, you’ll be told if you’ve won a seat.

If you do win, you can’t sell those seats, and you’re required to give out your social security number (and possibly undergo a background check) but otherwise, you’re golden.

Imagine have a phone app that would basically take over your life for you – at least when you’re going on a trip.

The people at zdnet.com quote an airline tech guy as saying, “if you are getting out of your car at the airport, the app that has the details of your flight realizes you have not checked in and lights up and asks you whether you want to check-in.” That has always been my spouse’s job, but I think he’d give it up.

Want more? The article says such an app could “detect when a traveler misses their connection after an incoming flight has been delayed, and then automatically books a seat on the next onward flight”.

They say this could be a reality in another 12 to 18 months. Could be.

Well, that’s good enough for me. Heck, I don’t even have an iPhone, but I’d get this app.

So you’ve never heard of Wizz Air?

Airbus has – and I’m sure they love Wizz Air, especially since the airline said it plans to buy 50 Airbus A320’s – for nearly $4 billion (at least, that’s the total according to list prices, but maybe those Wizzards cut a deal).

Wizz Air who? It’s a Hungarian budget airline that flies all over Europe – including places like Kyiv, Timisoara, Poznan as well as London, Paris and more. The CEO of Airbus calls it the “EasyJet of Central and Eastern Europe” and notes that it’s growing at a rate of 30% despite the fact that these are dog days for airlines.

Maybe they really are wizards.

We’ve all seen those cheery posts – “Top Ten Tips 4 Not Croaking in a Crash” – or something like that.

But here’s the real deal: a nuanced, practical guide to surviving a plane crash – written by an intelligent and imaginative reporter named Tim Jepson of Canada’s Daily Telegraph. Don’t do anything else today, until you read this. Really. It could save your life.

Among Jepson’s findings:

• Protect your legs: a lot of people die in crashes simply because their legs or ankles have been broken and they cannot get out of the plane. DO THIS: “Hold your legs and/or place feet flat on the floor, preferably farther back than your knees, and place hand luggage under the seat in front of you to act as a cushion.”

• Brace yourself carefully: but that’s very tricky in coach – sometimes there’s just not enough room to do what the flight attendants say. DO THIS: “Get your torso as low as possible to reduce the jackknife effect at impact.”

• Avoid smoke: fire and smoke are deadly, and you’ve got to cover your nose and mouth with something wet. DO THIS: Use a handkerchief or rip up some of your clothing for a cloth – and “if no water is available, use urine. This is a matter of life and death – it’s no time to be fastidious.”

• Move: typically, you have 2 minutes or less to get out of a crashed plane alive – but something called “negative panic” may affect you, causing you to sit and wait for orders. DO THIS: Move – force yourself to move, and order those around you to do the same.

There is so much more, so –read it. I’m sure you will never use any of this information. But I’m sure no one ever expected to be standing on the wings of a plane in the Hudson, either…

Ever wonder what the world’s Northern-most and Southern-most commercial airports are? Of course you have!

And, in case Alex Trebek ever asks you to name them, say the following in the form of a question:

1. Northern-most: Longyearbyen, Norway

2. Southern-most: Ushuaia, Argentina (Islas Malvinas)

Yes, yes, we KNOW there’s an airport on Antarctica, but we can’t find any regularly scheduled flights there. So there. Info courtesy FareCompare.com.