No, Plant fans, it’s not what you think – we are saying happy birthday to the zeppelin aircraft – you know, the blimp.

And the reason is, it carried the first paying passengers in the air back in 1909 so it officially gets credit for being the first air travel conveyance – plus, because it is now 2009, that means all this happened 100 years ago which is a nice, round anniversary-type number – so you, dear readers, get a post out of it.

By the way, this was not cheap travel: a jaunt from Duesseldorf to Lucerne set one back about $1,860 in today’s dollars, but that wouldn’t have been a problem for that lady who’s sure all that glitters is gold.

It takes 3 wranglers. That’s according to the Kansas City, Mo. Aviation Dept.

The horses in question, by the way, are rodeo horses – and they flew to Spain yesterday. They will be stars of the Rodeo Europe Tour 2009 in Madrid, which is held Sept. 18-19.

The animals were flown by Instone Air Services of Durango, Colorado in case any of you need to transport rodeo nags – and I’m guessing there was plenty of room, since the plane in question was a 747.

Why’d they fly out of Kansas City? Good location, I guess – and they’re used to this kind of thing. As the press release says,

“In the past KCI Airport has handled a charter of 119 pregnant Holstein heifers to Fukuoka, Japan, a shipment of ostriches, an alligator and other animals.“

Not altogether, I trust. I’d be a little concerned about the shy and retiring alligator in the presence of those vicious Holsteins.

You remember “Catch Me if You Can” – the movie/book about Frank Abagnale, Jr – a one-time teen con-man who pretended to be an airline pilot? Sure you do – think, DiCaprio.

Anyway, a 17 year old lad from Yorkshire, England persuaded some British aviation officials that he was about to launch his own airline. He set up “virtual offices”, held meetings, wrote articles for industry publications and – was eventually found out.

Turns out the kid suffers from a form of autism that (according to his dad) gives him the “ability to recall the exact detail of every airline’s flight schedules” – plus he is a very “enterprising and creative individual”. However, this also tends to make the boy’s behavior “highly challenging.” I guess so.

Wouldn’t it be great if he could somehow harness all that energy and really make it work for him? I hope he does own his own airline someday. If anyone could do it – and do it right – I suspect it’s this kid.

My nominee for Man of the Year:

A 59 year old Brit flew from Manchester to Palma de Mallorca – but didn’t go to the beach. Instead, he hung out at the airport and handed out thousands of dollars (okay, euros).

This we know: the man was laughing continuously – and was really, really drunk (we know this because the cops said so, plus he was, uh, filthy – let’s leave it at that).

Spanish police say our hero apparently had just come into an inheritance – and when they detained him, he had about $72,000 on him – but no one knows how much he gave away – or why. Hope he didn’t start out with a million, or that’s gonna be some hangover.

The cops put him on a plane and sent him home.

Dude! Whatta ya doin’ in there? Oh…never mind.

Apparently, a cigarette had nothing to do with it – but something was smoking on the Boeing 767 – and officials think it was actually the bathroom fan.

The American Airlines jetliner had been heading from New York to Zurich but made an emergency landing in Nova Scotia when smoke got in the cabin.

This was Tuesday night. I’d like to think that all 210 passengers are now happily yodeling in the Alps by now.

Those scamps over at Ryanair are no doubt still chortling over their CEO’s idea to raise money by installing pay toilets on the discounter’s aircraft – but that’s not the end of it.

They’re looking for new ways to charge us – and they want us to come up with the ideas! But – at least, they’ll pay for them – 1,000 Euros – which was about $1,289 last time I looked.

Here are some of the ideas already submitted:

• Charging for toilet paper – with CEO Michael O’Leary’s face on it
• Charging to read the safety cards
• Charging to use oxygen masks
• Charging to use the emergency exit
• Charging for bikini clad Cabin Crew

Kind of lame – am sure you can do better but hurry – ideas must be submitted to competition@ryanair.com by March 30. And if your idea is the winner, we will know who to blame for the next bone-headed fee!

Michael J. Totten is a journalist who’s seen it all -bombings, battles, and bloodshed of all kinds. And then there was this adventure: coming face-to-face with The Worst Airline in The World:

Alitalia.

Well, that’s what he calls Italian carrier.

Anyway, it all started in Rome – with a two hour layover – that lasted more than a week. There was a baggage strike – there were cursing Alitalia employees (and plenty of cursing passengers) – there were liars and cheats everywhere. And one dead cat.

You have to read it. Then we need a movie version. Hey, Spielberg, you listening?

This is one for the books. A pilot with the low-cost European regional carrier Flybe was approaching Charles de Gaulle airport when he told his passengers he wasn’t qualified to land in the fog there — and with that, he turned around and headed back to Cardiff.

Okay, give him props for honesty.

But still. This was no student pilot — the guy had 30 years worth of experience — but not the right kind for a Bombardier Q400 in a fog, apparently. Now, call me crazy, but — fog isn’t exactly a bizarre or unusual weather condition, right? Strange.

In case you’re wondering, the airline stands behind its pilot’s decision “100%”.

I thought it was bad enough when some passengers found ticks on a plane (and, yep, that’s a tick in the photo to the left).

But I have to say, that’s been topped by infestations of bedbugs on planes (and trains and buses).

This is something they’re seeing in the UK – one pest control company there said there’s been a 40% rise in calls in the past year, from transport companies. The company is actually going to hold a conference on the subject!

What’s behind this? According to one expert, it’s “the enormous increase in international travel as a result of rising western living standards and low-cost flying”.

Hmm. Let me know where that “low-cost flying” is, would ya, pal?

You know those mean-spirited stereotypes about British travelers being drunken louts?

Well, according to an article in Gadling…there’s a reason for the stereotype: it’s true!

Now, now, before you get your knickers in a twist, understand that I’ve got plenty of relatives in England and Ireland, and they all strike me as perfectly respectable types as do the vast majority of the folks I’ve encountered in this sceptred isle (and that emerald one, too).

That said, the Brits’ own Foreign Office issued a report saying the number of Britons arrested overseas — mostly for excessive drinking — is soaring.

Again, most are “good tourists” but the fun folks have a money-saving tip for the rest of us: don’t waste money on hotels, just stay up all night and party. Is that genius or what?

Ask and you shall receive.

Rick (that’s Mr. FareCompare or Mr. FC to us, but, please…Mr. Seaney to you) has just written a column for ABCNews.com in which he DOES provide that very help.

Plus, he give out tips and stuff. It’s good. You shall read it. Clicketh here.