Wonderful story in the LA Times today (by Bob Pool) about a flight attendant who passes out crayons — to adults.

Jewel Van Valin started doing this after 9/11 to calm the nerves of anxious passengers.

It worked. People liked it. They still like it. And Van Valin has collected and kept them all. Now the Delta flight attendant is looking for a place to display what she calls this “Plane Art”. They should be seen, she says, because “many of these are very good.”

She’s right. See them for yourself.

It looks like we have another case on our hands of airline employees behaving badly.

Two former Delta Air Lines employees, a pilot and his fiancee flight attendant, are going to court for possession of opium poppies, which as reported by the Salt Lake City Tribune is a third-degree felony, punishable by up to five years in prison and a fine of up to $5,000.

Now, it should be pointed out that at the poppies the two were in possession of can be purchased online, and that prosecutors acknowledge that “they’re everywhere.” However, along with the poppies, a small amount of marijuana and drug paraphernalia was found in the couple’s bedroom, leading to misdemeanor charges in addition to the felony charges.

Both the pilot and the flight attendant have been let go from Delta Air Lines (although the pilot reports that he retired, while the flight attendant claims she was fired). The real catch of the case is that the defendants claim the opium poppies were purchased for decorative purposes only. Regardless of why they wanted them, in the State of Utah possessing opium poppies is “the same as possessing cocaine or heroin.”

We’ll keep you informed to let you know how the decorating defense goes over, and whether or not the two former Delta Air Lines employees can have the felony charges dropped.

A 19-year old man who worked as a flight attendant for Compass Airlines (a subsidiary of Northwest) had a problem: he didn’t want to fly the airline’s Minneapolis-St. Paul to Regina, Saskatchewan route. Why not? I dunno. The report doesn’t say.

Anyhoo, this bozo was apparently told that he had to work the route.

So… solution to the problem? Why, set the lavatory on fire!

So that is what he did. And the plane had to make an emergency landing in Fargo, which is where the young lad is being held without bail.

Just one question: you didn’t want to go to Regina — but you’re okay with Fargo?

I try to give the French the benefit of the doubt. I really do. Theirs is a beautiful country, and the fact that I can say “I’m going to the mountains with my cousins after dinner” in French has served me well over the years.

Of course, sometimes one rotten pomme can spoil the whole barrel…

Grumpy Santa sheds new light on the best and worst of commercial aviation: you know, important stuff like, which airline’s flight attendants shamelessly coddled him the most, or where he got food you wouldn’t serve a dog.

Stuff like that. See it here. Consider it an early Christmas gift from the fine folks at Standard Upright Position.

British Airways (BA) recently suspended one of their cabin crew stewards.

Did he get drunk? Molest a passenger? Pose for naked pictures?

Nah. According this this article, he was punished for “eating a muffin that was discarded on a passenger’s meal tray.”

Ask any cop: that’s always the very first step to a life of crime.

Can a company control your personal blogging? Maybe we’ll find out, thanks to Ellen Simonetti, a former Delta Flight attendant who (according to MSNBC) filed a sex discrimination lawsuit against Delta.

Part of the problem? Well, Simonetti is a blogger, on her own time, and she blogged about her job (she and Delta have since parted ways). Anyway, Delta seemed to have problems with some of the photos of Simonetti on her blogsite (including a real tame “leggy” shot, though she is in uniform–see for yourself–the blog is called Diary of a Flight Attendant). Hard to think what the problem is.

One thing that’s got this woman steamed is, Delta hasn’t said anything to male flight attendants who blog. Meanwhile, Delta, as you might imagine, ain’t sayin’ a thing.

Find out in this terrific story in the Wall St. Journal; alright, I’ll tell you. The flight attendants are…well, who did you think? Debbie from Southwest? No. They’re all Air Force enlisted personnel.

Plus, they’re tough guys (I’m talking men and women): all are “trained in survival skills, aircraft emergencies and the culinary arts”. They fly into war zones and stuff, too, but I’d feel pretty safe knowing they’re along for the ride.