The San Francisco Chronicle reported that on a flight from Montana to Salt Lake, actress Sharon Stone by some accounts, had some baggage issues, i.e., allegedly bringing too much on board – and the paper went on to note that a fellow passenger said, “She made a scene during the entire flight.”

But the Chronicle, a fair-minded publication, also points out that Stone’s “high powered publicist” Paul Bloch said the whole thing was a big misunderstanding, that a flight attendant “shouted” at Stone, and “it was his client who was the victim.”

The Chronicle, by the way, used to be run by Stone’s ex-husband. Not for awhile, though.

Yes, this sounds nutty – but what the heck.

Once again, I bring you a Hint from Heloise, courtesy of a woman who doesn’t own a bathroom scale…

“Dear Heloise: Where can I weigh my bags before going to the airport? My vet’s office! It has front-door parking, with the scale a few feet inside the front door and at floor level, thus no high lifting.” –Carolyn in Va.

Heloise’s response was to call the vet first to get permission. Such a nice lady!

My response? Buy a scale.

Simply shocking.

According to ABC, there are baggage thieves at Houston’s George Bush Intercontinental Airport -and an unidentified Continental employee claims, the thieves are her colleagues.

The woman goes on to say that she’s actually seen these jerks rifle through bags and take stuff.

That stinks of course, but I’m not too crazy about this unidentified woman either – I mean, nowhere in this report does it say what this woman did with the knowledge that some of her co-workers were stripping peoples’ bags – did she tell her superiors, call the cops? I don’t know. I’d like to know.

Continental naturally, says thefts are rare, but they have security in place, work with the police, blah and blah. And, as ABC points out, plenty of other airlines have had their problems with employee theft.

Tip: Don’t put valuables in checked-bags. Ever.

Maybe we roll. Thing is, we don’t do endorsements here. But I have to say, I was intrigued by the “Skyroll on Wheels” bag. Well, intrigued by the photographs, anyway (have not seen one in person).

The Skyroll is a carryon bag – on wheels – with this compartment that allows suits and stuff to lie flat. In theory, the clothes do not get wrinkled.

Check out the video – it’s really kind of fascinating the way they pack this thing. Also fascinating is how closely the video resembles the ones shot by your earnest but sadly incompetent brother-in-law (and next time, use a noise-canceling “lip mike”).

But I gotta say, the bag looks cool. If anyone’s used it, let us know.

Did you know? Some 637,000 laptops are lost at U.S. airports each year — lost, or — STOLEN!

At least according to one report. But I’m sure plenty do disappear. And the solution, according to the fine folks at TurboBag? Why…a TurboBag.

Now, I don’t own one, but they sound good. For those who don’t know, a TurboBag is one of those new, TSA-approved laptop bags that you can put through security — without removing the laptop. Great idea. One less thing to worry about — and that means less stress, according to the TurboBag folks — and that, they suggest, means you’ll be more alert to laptop thieves.

Maybe. You’re still going to be fiddling with your shoes and looking around for your belt, and what could happen is, a the thief makes off with a laptop in a nice snazzy TurboBag.

Again, don’t get me wrong, the bag sounds cool (and they start at just $39.95) — but the BEST thing you can do during the holidays and any days is — watch your stuff like an eagle-eyed hawk. Yep, two metaphors for the price of one to show you how serious I am about this.

Breaking News from The Onion: American Airlines is now going to start charging fees to all its customers, and people who aren’t customers.

According to an Onion investigation team, “charges will include a $25 tax on citizens traveling with any other airline, as well as a mandatory $30 surcharge for passengers who decide to just stay home for the holidays instead.”

The story goes on to quote American’s CEO: “It’s never an easy decision to ask our loyal customers, as well as thousands of people chosen at random out of a telephone book, to pay a little extra, but that’s just the reality of today’s economic climate. We hope all Americans will understand this when receiving one of our new bills in the mail.”

New baggage fees will include a $15 charge for each piece of luggage in your bedroom closet.

Don’t know The Onion? You should.

I think I’m in love.

United Airlines will now pick up your bags, at your door, and deposit them where ever you wish (well, in the contiguous U.S. states, anyway).

But, since United is not a charitable organization, you do have to pay for this service — $149 one-way for trips under 1,000 miles, and $179 for longer jaunts.

RickSeaney.com has all the details right here (plus some envigorating comparisons to FedEx).

As for me, I just fell out of love after remembering that I’m broke, so I will continue to carry on with my carry-on.

Talk about adding insult to injury.

Some poor guy dies on a British Airways’ Hong Kong to Heathrow flight. Sad. Problem is, the deceased businessman unfortunately died on April 2^nd, at the height of the madness at Heathrow. And by madness, I mean that’s when Heathrow’s luggage “experts” were busy LOSING 28,000 BAGS.

Among the missing bags — yep, the dead guy’s. And his son is pretty hot under the collar about it. Understandably. He called the situation, “unforgivable.”

There’s about 27,999 folks who would agree with that assessment.

Okay, I admit it: “Martha Stewart Living” is a guilty pleasure. Ah, I’m going to be real honest here: I don’t feel a particle’s worth of guilt. Martha’s still got it going on.

Besides, sometimes I see stuff in the magazine that’s “work-related” so I can look important while pretending I’m “doing research.”

Like her recent mention of Bags Reunited. This is a website designed to help travelers in case their bags ever go astray (hahahaha).

Does it work? Gosh, let’s take a look and see!

Okay, here’s how it’s supposed to work: the site gives you special luggage tags to use (you’re not supposed to use your own with your name and address on them cuz otherwise someone will come to your house and rob it, okay?).

Anyway, say your bag gets lost: whoever finds it looks at the special tag that tells them how to contact the site, which has stored all your flight details, contact info, etc., and then the site contacts you to say your bag has been found (they do something very similar on another site called Global Bag Tag).

But…I’ve notice a wee bit of a flaw in all this, Martha, so listen up: what if someone finds the bag and…just wants to keep it?

Bags Reunited suggests in their FAQs that that won’t happen because most people are Good Samaritans. I’m not worried about the good ones, it’s the Regular Samaritans you have to keep an eye out for.

But if anyone’s ever used a service like this…tell me what you thought.

JFK is turning into some horrible movie where a bunch of aging actors stand around and talk about “pulling off one last heist” while holding postcards of the island resort where they’ll retire and live a “normal life” once said heist has been pulled.

In case you’ve been out of the loop, in a relatively short period of time, workers at JFK have stolen credit card numbers, run smuggling rings, and made off with people’s baggage. Well, I guess none of those was worthy of “one final score” status, because JFK workers are now being accused of stealing $250,000 in diamonds.

Oh, JFK workers don’t you know that those heist movies almost always end poorly. Check out The Consumerist for all of the details.

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