Whoa! It seems a guy in first class on American Airlines asked for a glass of orange juice.

And with that, the flight attendant began screaming at him.

And she went on and on. Fortunately for this fellow, everyone around him saw what was happening and couldn’t believe it – and acting as a group, met with an airline rep to defend this guy, once their Sacramento to Dallas flight landed. Meanwhile, the flight attendant tried to get the O.J. fellow in big trouble, but the other passengers were having none of that.

Funny how some of the comments I’ve seen say, oh, don’t pick on flight attendants – maybe this woman was just having a very bad day. Well, apparently. But I don’t think anyone is picking on any group – including flight attendants – it just sounds like this woman is nuts.

Plenty of people out there are having bad days – plenty of people out there have seen their salaries chopped – their jobs disappear – plenty. But they don’t behave like this. This — this is inexcusable.

Gisele (that’s Mrs. Tom Brady to you) has just passed her written test for helicoptering; now she has to acquire more flight time before passing the flying part.

Why is the supermodel doing this? Hey, just because they’re supermodels doesn’t mean they’re dumb – besides, she’s not blond. Apparently, she wants to be able to commute quickly between Boston (Brady’s football HQ) and New York (where Gisele does modeling).

Besides, these are very rich people, and as Fitzgerald once said, the rich are different (to which Hemingway responded, yeah, they have more money!).

You may recall that after the September 11^th terror attacks, the TSA ordered that the so-called “privacy curtain” that separates first or business class and steerage economy class be taken down. But now they’re coming back!

Well, it’s happening on American Airlines, anyway. According to the Chicago Tribune, this is because of requests from first class passengers – and they are delighted with their new draperies.

Same thing at United – actually that carrier started doing this a few years back, “in response to requests from our customers for additional privacy and comfort.” Gotta love the Trib’s response to that:

“It’s not clear to us how the curtains improve privacy or exactly what passengers in first class are doing on flights that calls for the need for privacy.” -Chicago Tribune, 6-17-09

Goodness! But personally I think the real reason for the curtains is, class warfare. First class vs. economy. However, if the first-classers want to pay 10 times what my ticket cost, I say let ‘em have curtains. ]]> http://standarduprightposition.com/2009/06/17/first-class-privacy-curtain-makes-comeback-keeps-out-riff-raff/feed/ 0 http://standarduprightposition.com/2009/03/26/woo-hoo-american-to-start-using-bigger-wineglasses/ http://standarduprightposition.com/2009/03/26/woo-hoo-american-to-start-using-bigger-wineglasses/#comments Thu, 26 Mar 2009 22:07:09 +0000 anne http://standarduprightposition.com/?p=4102

Starting next month, American Airlines will start using “stemmed tulip-shaped globes” – wineglasses – on its 777 and 767-200 planes. And not only will they be all nice and tulip-y, but they will be bigger!

Why are they doing this? So passengers can “more easily swirl the wine and enjoy its aromas”. But of course. And maybe put more of that tasty swirly stuff in the glass.

Let’s see, what else? Oh, yes, this is only for…first class passengers. Well, that lets me out. Grrr.

I’ve been reading about the babymoon trend for some time — a last big travel fling for expectant parents. ABC recently has this story on it.

The whole idea is “last minute pampering” before Junior arrives — at resorts that include such things as massages and even “craving chefs”.

Wonder if these guys have ever been pregnant? The last thing I wanted to do was “travel” — that’s just work, these days. And forget that “glow” everyone talks about — sometimes, pregnant women don’t look their best — and may not be all that keen on frolicking in public.

Another thought — do we really want to blow Junior’s college fund on a last minute fling?

Relax. I have an alternative:

1.) Stay home. 2.) Sit on couch. 3.) Surround self with snacks. 4.) Watch old episodes of the Mary Tyler Moore show, to remind you what it was like to be carefree, single and childless. Or watch the Brady Bunch.

Note: this do-it-yourself “babymoon” can be enjoyed by all. Try it today!

Okay, so your girlfriend shows you that cupid-festooned ad for a Valentine’s Day hotel package which includes a gorgeous room filled with candy, flowers, and champagne, all for one heart-attack inducing price.

You think to yourself, hahaha, never in a million years!

That my friend, is the wrong answer. But we’re here to help. Bestir yourself to click on that little blue “more” over on the right, and you will learn how to do this for cheap.

First things first: DO reserve a room in a nice-ish hotel (if you can get a room with a Jacuzzi, do so and thank me later). And you know, when you make the reservation, make it by phone, not online…you can always try saying something like, “Gee, that’s a little steep; is there anything we could do to lower the price?” Say this wistfully. Ya never know, they might do it.

Meanwhile, do NOT get that whole “package” business. Just the room.

Then, go out and buy your own candy (you can buy something cheap but it’s gotta come in a heart-shaped box), buy your own champagne (this can be cheap, too–wrap a towel around the label), and buy your own flowers (forget the florist, get a bouquet from the supermarket–seriously–and nab a vase from your Mom–but don’t take her Waterford).

Finally, go to the hotel and put this stuff in place, THEN pick up the gal-pal, and dazzle her with your incredible thoughtfulness and seemingly endlessly deep pockets. And a good time will be had by all.

Mike: “So who made Mobil’s 5-star hotel list?”

Anne: “Well, anything with ‘Ritz’ or ‘Seasons’ in its name. Nothing with ‘Motel’ or ‘6′ made it.”

Mike: “Restaurants? Names?”

Anne: “Very exciting names: ‘The Dining Room’. ‘The French Laundry’.”

Mike: “Ah. Would you like the bearnaise with that, or the starch?”

Anne: “And don’t get me started on ‘per se’. I had enough of e.e. cummings in junior high.”

Mike: “We’re starting to sound like total rubes.”

Anne: “Whatever happened to places with names like ‘Killer Shrimp’ or ‘Aunt Kizzy’s Back Porch’?”

Mike: “Nothing. Still there. “

Anne: “Why ‘Roscoe’s House of Chicken ‘n Waffles’ didn’t make the list, I’ll never understand.” ]]> http://standarduprightposition.com/2008/01/29/mobils-5-star-hotels-and-restaurantsbut-even-betterour-picks/feed/ 0 http://standarduprightposition.com/2008/01/16/take-a-cruise-on-a-manned-cloud/ http://standarduprightposition.com/2008/01/16/take-a-cruise-on-a-manned-cloud/#comments Wed, 16 Jan 2008 18:37:12 +0000 mike http://standarduprightposition.com/2008/01/16/take-a-cruise-on-a-manned-cloud/

It seems, the Stratocruiser isn’t the only airship in town. Or at least, it’s not the only conceptualized airship in town. Behold, the Manned Cloud!

This French-designed luxury air cruiser will be 1640 sq. ft., contain 60 rooms, and will offer a degree of spaciousness and style that most airlines can’t compete with. Of course, it won’t even reach an airspeed of 200 mph, but that’s not what the airship is all about. Designers believe that this baby could be ready to take to the skies some time next year.

Visit Gizmodo and Gems Sty to see what a manned cloud looks like on the inside and from below.

Liked this story? Check out “Zeppelin Returns”

Were talking private jets here, and no, not those pathetic Lears. Were talking about people who buy Airbus A380sthe largest aircraft in the world (much bigger than a 747 the Airbus seats 555-passengers).

A New York Times article says theres now a VIP market for these things; you know, people who buy them for their own private travel.

The first customer? A Saudi billionaire named Prince Alwaleed bin Talal. Price tag? Prince isn’t talking, but Airbus says one of these babies runs a tad over $319-million, plus several hundred million to make it all pretty inside. I guess were talking diamond encrusted wallpaper. Or toilet bowls. Something like that.

Yes, Led Zeppelin will reunite to play one gig in England, and yes that is the best news many of us have heard in a long time, but I’m talking about a different zeppelin. The original zeppelin, if you will. While most people view the old airship as a thing of the past or a cheap marketing ploy (I’m talking to you MetLife/Goodyear!), there are a few designers who believe this once-great dirigible can be born anew, and revolutionize the world of luxury travel.

Visit The Aesthetic Poetic for an in depth look at the Stratocruiser, a new generation of zeppelin that’s currently in the design phase. Those behind the Stratocruiser see it as somewhat of a cruise ship in the air, complete with a “gourmet restaurant, swimming pool, spa, resident DJ, personal trainer, yoga studio, library, climbing wall and private chambers all on board…”

It could be many years before we see the Stratocruiser even take shape, let alone take flight. However, as all classic rock fans know, zeppelin is totally worth waiting for.