You too can be an auteur.

Just head to the Kids First website, make a fantastic 3-minute movie, and meet Mickey.

Something like that, anyway – the rules are here. First prize is airfare to Orlando for 4, plus theme park tickets and passes to the 19^th annual Florida Film Festival, which is in April.

Hurry – you’ve got until Jan. 11^th to come up with the next Paranormal Activity.

Arghhh.

This was going to be a post playing off last night’s Emmys – you know, “You missed the Emmys, so why not fly to the 2010 Oscars” (March 7, 2010) — that type of thing.

In other words, how to be one of those geeks on the bleachers looking on at all the red carpet entrances outside the Kodak Theater – but – the deadline to nab those seats just ended!

Here’s the plan for Oscars 2011: go to the Academy Awards official website starting next summer – and look for an announcement about registering for the bleacher seats lottery (this year, registration was from 9/14 thru 9/20). Sometime in October, you’ll be told if you’ve won a seat.

If you do win, you can’t sell those seats, and you’re required to give out your social security number (and possibly undergo a background check) but otherwise, you’re golden.

Well, that’s what they’re doing at Worcester Regional Airport in Massachusetts.

The “almost empty terminal building” is being transformed into a set for a movie with the working title “Wichita”. Apparently, the Kansas facility was no good because it’s all cluttered up with things like planes and passengers.

Stars include Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz, and the Worcester Telegram helpfully provides information on becoming an extra in the film.

As always, my favorite part of the article was the comments section, which included this blow torch:

“Now the movie moguls know the big secret that all Worcester county residents have known for years. Worcester is a gold mine for empty. Empty promises , empty leadership, empty train stations, empty outlet malls, empty airport…and taxpayers with empty wallets.” -Anonymous Worcesterian

Ah, gotta love the first line in the Philadelphia Inquirer’s story:

“When regular folks get questioned by airport officials, we miss our plane. When it happens to Bollywood superstar Shah Rukh Khan, fans burn U.S. flags…” -Philadelphia Inquirer, Aug. 17, 2009

So what happened? Mr. Khan, who came to this country to promote a movie, was questioned as part of a routine process that took about an hour – which caused an uproar among his many fans who called his treatment “shocking” and “disturbing” and “racist” (according to the Inquirer, in India it’s considered a status symbol to avoid certain security procedures at airports).

The Philly paper quoted a customs official who said what happened to Khan is part of the “routine process” for anyone wishing to enter the U.S., and that it took as long as it did because – while his papers were all in order – the airline lost his bag!

The officials declined to name the airline. Later, Khan said he understood that this was a procedure that needed to be followed, but that it’s an “unfortunate procedure”. Amen, brother.

Thank goodness for People magazine.

They let us know that Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore suffered no injuries Thursday when their plane to New York had to make an emergency landing because (apparently) the engine overheated.

They told the world about this on Twitter. Tweeted Demi, “Yep it is always an adventure in Vegas emergency landing and all”. Tweeted Ashton, “Fire engines everywhere good times.” Good times indeed!

In case you were wondering, the couple were in Vegas for the premiere of Ashton’s new movie, Spread. Am not familiar with it. If you see it, tweet us.

If you were a martini-sipping British super-spy, which airline would you fly?

Well, if you’re James Bond, you’re a Virgin Atlantic man.

The airline will aid Bond in his latest adventure, Quantum of Solace, just as they did in Casino Royale. You can check out pics of Bond spending time onboard a Virgin flight online. OK, so 007 wasn’t technically “onboard.” According to the Virgin Atlantic site, “The scene itself was filmed in January 2008 at The Base, Virgin Atlantic’s amazing new facility near Gatwick Airport, the largest cabin crew training facility in Europe.”

Visit Virgin Atlantic Promotions to see Bond in action.

In the biggest affront to the Transformers franchise since Soundwave was left out of the movie, a traveler at London Heathrow allegedly was told he couldn’t fly because he was wearing a shirt featuring a Transformer holding a gun.

The shirt, featuring famed Autobot leader Optimus Prime was said to be offensive by a Heathrow security guard, so the man changed shirts before boarding. This is London quotes a Heathrow rep as saying “If a T-shirt had a rude word or a bomb on it, for example, a passenger may be asked to remove it. We are investigating what happened to see if it came under this category. If it’s offensive, we don’t want other passengers upset.”

What’s more offensive to me (and to some of those who left comments) is that the guy in question seems to think Megatron is on his shirt. Come on, man. That’s totally Prime.

Ever wonder what those fancy types up in first class are watching on their personal entertainment systems during long haul flights while you’re forced to re-do the crossword puzzle for the third time or watch some Val Kilmer movie from the mid-80s on a screen that’s half blocked by the seats of the 12 rows in front of you?

Well, truth is, you might not be missing much. Take a look at our first class travel blog to see how the other half is living (movie wise, anyway), and old Val might not look so bad.