Pamela Anderson as a TSA officer?

Yes, that’s in the new TV commercial by the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) – and that’s not all. Look for plenty of washboard abs, zipper pulling and naked couples.

Tons of visual overload in this one – only, it’s not playing in airports as PETA envisioned -no one will run it. Or is that what they had in mind all along? Making it a viral sensation instead?

If you must see the ad, I’m sure you can find it, but don’t look for it here. I like to think of this as a family values blog, the main value being, don’t do naked stuff for the cameras.

It starts off like a real hoo-hah – a passenger onboard a US Airways flight from Charlotte to Los Angeles- a 50 year old man from the Bronx – decides to take his clothes off. Every stitch.

This is where one would normally make a reference to Air New Zealand’s TV ad featuring crew members wearing nothing more than a coat of paint.

However…it seems pretty clear this guy was mentally ill. He later told the FBI in Albuquerque (where the plane diverted because the fellow would not put his clothes back on) that he hadn’t taken his medication, and he had no memory of anything he’d done on the flight.

Something else to consider: before the flight took off from Charlotte, a “flight service supervisor” with US Airways saw this man “dancing in a crowded boarding area” but determined he had not been drinking, ergo he was good to go on the flight.

I realize flight crews/gate agents are not trained psychologists, but I might dig a little deeper if I saw some poor guy dancing (and presumably making a spectacle of himself) in public. Should he have flown? Clearly not. But who was watching out for this guy? No one.

A naked man was running around an American Airlines flight from Boston to Los Angeles Saturday, when Naked Man thought it would be a good idea to open an emergency door in mid-flight (by the way, that can’t be done).

A soccer team on the same plane, the New England Revolution, thought that was a bad idea, and restrained him.

Plane landed (unplanned) in Oklahoma City so Naked Man could go to a crisis center for “observation”. Soccer team went on to win World Cup. Well, not really. But they’re aces in my book.

Anne: “You see this? A travel agency in Germany is offering a nude flight to a nudist colony.”

Mike: “Nude flight? For real?”

Anne: “That’s what it says on Reuters.”

Mike: “Makes it easy at the security checkpoints. The strip searches won’t take as long.”

Anne: “No, they can’t take off their clothes ’til they get on the plane. And they have to put ‘em back on when they land.”

Mike: “Not sure I like the idea of naked pilots.”

Anne: “No, it says pilots have to wear clothes, for ’safety reasons’. Interesting mental picture.”

Mike: “You said these were Germans?”

The conversation continues. Click “more” for the dramatic finale.

Anne: “Well, the travel agency arranging it is German. Figures. You wouldn’t catch my peeps doing this.”

Mike: “Really? Not the Irish? Oh, excuse me, but wasn’t [Dublin-based] Ryanair responsible for that very tasteful under-dressed schoolgirl ad?”

Anne: “Stay focused, Mike. We’re talking flying nudes here.”

Mike: “I know. I’m trying to picture a pocket of turbulence. Right after the flight attendants serve the hot coffee.”