“A complete lack of common sense here.”

Those are the words of Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood, commenting on the recent “trapped on the tarmac” ordeal of nearly 50 passengers in Rochester, Minnesota.

You may recall that the passengers were heading to Minneapolis on a Continental flight – operated by ExpressJet – when they diverted to Rochester due to storms. But no one let them off the plane.

Meanwhile, the ExpressJet crew has been more or less cast as the bad guys in this saga, for supposedly forcing their passengers to sit on that plane, for nine hours – but, according to LaHood, they were actually very good guys. In fact, they pleaded with people in the airport to let the passengers come in, but – nothin’ doin’. ExpressJet executives also got into the act, with the same result.

The problem, apparently, is that ExpressJet was talking to people from Mesabe Airlines – the only carrier with a staff left in the airport at that late hour – and maybe they’d been appointed official-phone-answerers, I don’t know – but the Mesabe-ites kept saying, the passengers couldn’t come in.

Sounds nuts to me. Where were the airport people? If they weren’t around, why didn’t anyone know how to get hold of them?

How about some new procedures – like, “every airport must have a hotline for after-hours problems” – and every crew member should have that hotline number.

Since I’m no genius, I have to believe someone else has thought of this before, so – why hasn’t it been done?

Michael J. Totten is a journalist who’s seen it all -bombings, battles, and bloodshed of all kinds. And then there was this adventure: coming face-to-face with The Worst Airline in The World:

Alitalia.

Well, that’s what he calls Italian carrier.

Anyway, it all started in Rome – with a two hour layover – that lasted more than a week. There was a baggage strike – there were cursing Alitalia employees (and plenty of cursing passengers) – there were liars and cheats everywhere. And one dead cat.

You have to read it. Then we need a movie version. Hey, Spielberg, you listening?

Disclaimer: This post is NOT appropriate for the kids…

In the time we’ve been covering the airline industry, we’ve seen our share of strange flights and bizarre occurrences.

There have been drunk passengers, drunk flight attendants, miniskirts, and ladies who dubbed themselves “too pretty to fly.”

But NONE of that prepared us for THIS story that ran on Sky Talk today.

Keep reading to see what can happen while sleeping on a plane…

American Airlines is being sued. Not because of mechanical issues with any of its planes. Not even because of delays or cancellations. No, they are being sued because of something a passenger claims happened on the plane. This passenger believes that American Airlines employees failed to protect her from another passenger while she slept.

She claims the other passenger in question engaged in a solo sex act in the seat next to her, while she was sleeping:

“The woman slept most of the flight, but awoke about 20 minutes before landing when the pilot announced the plane was on descent into Los Angeles. When the woman opened her eyes, she saw that an unknown man had moved into the seat next to her and was staring at her as he masturbated, the suit states.

The woman [then] turned toward the window in embarrassment and in an act of nervousness began to run her fingers through her hair where she noticed…” (from Sky Talk)

What did she notice? I’ll let Sky Talk (the airline blog of the Ft. Worth Star Telegram) fill you in on all the gory details. I tried to come up with a clever “There’s Something About Mary” joke, but all I thought of was, “Are you serious? Is this what the world has come to? What is going on!? Seriously, what is going on?!” I honestly don’t know what else to say…

You all know Kate Hanni, crusader for passenger rights, stuck on the tarmac for blah blah blah…

Don’t get me wrong, she’s doing the right thing. She’s been yakkin’ about this, and lo! New York passed a Passenger Rights Bill. Now 6-other states have intro’d similar bills (Washington, Indiana, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island and Michigan).

But an airline exec (Alaska) testified that this will mean a “patchwork quilt” of laws, and impossible to comply with…

He could be right.

On the other hand…I used to think it was impossible to fly with leg-room suitable only for a chihuahua. Make of that what you will.

Keep sewing that patchwork, sister. Feds, you listening?

Liked this? Then check out “Time, Money, Sanity“