A pilot at the controls of a Canada-based Porter Airlines flight out of Halifax lost consciousness during the weekend flight, and the co-pilot took charge and turned back.

Good thing he/she was there.

Anyway, nobody knows what was going on with the pilot, but mercifully, no one seems to think he had this pilot’s problem.

You remember the “laptoppers” – those two Northwest pilots that flew to Wisconsin, when they should have stopped a little earlier, like say, at their scheduled destination in Minnesota? They said they were too busy on their laptops (an excuse that cost them their pilot’s licenses).

Anyway, there weren’t the only ones out to lunch – the head of the FAA says the air traffic controllers are supposed to notify NORAD, the military air defense command, when they’re out of radio contact for ten minutes. How long did they wait? One hour and 9 minutes.

Nope, nothing happened – this time. But as has been mentioned elsewhere (like everywhere), a whole lot changed back on that Tuesday morning in September, 8 years ago…so, guys, just do your jobs, okay? Because you never know…

Gisele (that’s Mrs. Tom Brady to you) has just passed her written test for helicoptering; now she has to acquire more flight time before passing the flying part.

Why is the supermodel doing this? Hey, just because they’re supermodels doesn’t mean they’re dumb – besides, she’s not blond. Apparently, she wants to be able to commute quickly between Boston (Brady’s football HQ) and New York (where Gisele does modeling).

Besides, these are very rich people, and as Fitzgerald once said, the rich are different (to which Hemingway responded, yeah, they have more money!).

Did you know? According to India Today, it is NOT a criminal offense for a pilot in India to report to work drunk – which they sometimes do, especially at “festive seasons” including Christmas, New Year’s and Diwali.

This is from the article:

“It [drunk pilots] is an old issue,” said a retired pilot, after Air India had to scramble to replace an inebriated pilot on a Mumbai to New York run. He added that the airlines don’t want to take any harsh or punitive action against them, because “there is a shortage of experienced pilots”.

Uh…any pilots in India out there who would like to respond? I wish you would…

18 year old Colton Harris-Moore is suspected of stealing at least three small private planes – he flies off with them. And then he crashes them. Well, at least one of them, but then, he’s never had a flying lesson so there you go.

Anyway, he’s got some Facebook fans (quelle surprise) who liken him to “Jesse James – without the murders” (plug time: if you want to read more about the real, murderous Jesse, and learn how you can see his ghost, see Rick’s Halloween post on the subject).

Where was I? Oh, yeah, the kid – anyway, police consider this kid a fugitive – he was doing time in a juvenile facility for other misdeeds, then walked away from his half-way house – and now he sort of lives in the wilds of the Northwest – out in the woods or in empty cabins.

Gotta love mothers – Colton’s mother says, her baby hasn’t been stealing any planes, adding “Wouldn’t you need a little bit of training in flying a plane? They’re not easy.”

No, they’re not, Mom. That’s why he crashed that last one. Allegedly.

On Oct. 15,1955, a Lockheed T-33 jet trainer, with two Air Force pilots onboard, went missing.

The plane was presumed “lost at sea” all these years – and it was – but not very far. According to CNN, members of an aviation wreckage search group called UB88.org, found it in the bottom of the Santa Monica Bay, just west of Los Angeles.

The searchers did not say if the pilots were still in this wreckage, but apparently their families have been notified, so at least they know – cold comfort that that may be.

Actually, the divers were looking for a different aircraft altogether – a WWII plane that went down in 1944.

But apparently it’s not surprising that they bumped into another missing plane; officials say there are about 2,500 aviation crash sites in and around California – many of them still waiting to be discovered.

It is, after all, a big state.

Loved the headline on this AP story – “Government Struggles to Find Answer to Pilot Fatigue”.

It goes on to say that the problem seems to be increasing – and not a whole lot is being done (but the government is working on it!).

The article mentions the story about two pilots heading traveling from Honolulu to Hilo – who overshot their airport by some 15 miles or so. Turns out they’d been napping, because they were tired (and one of the pilots had an undiagnosed case of sleep apnea – that gives you confidence, huh?).

What did I like about the headline? The Capt. Obviousness of it. If pilots need more sleep, let them have it – even if that means you have to hire more of them – even if it means airfares go (gasp) up. Our lives are at stake here, no kidding.

In September, the skies will be filled with cats and dogs – so says USA Today.

It’s not a bizarre weather forecast – it’s an effort by private pilots to remove some 5,000 dogs and cats (and other creatures) from overcrowded shelters and bring them to other parts of the country where there is “space and demand for them.” In other words, they’re being removed from facilities where euthanasia is the answer to overcrowding, in favor of “no kill” shelters.

Nice. Don’t know if you know this, but about 6 million shelter animals are put to death each year.

I don’t want to sound like Bob Barker or anything, but you can blame all these deaths on stupid pet owners. Anyone who refuses to have their animal spayed/neutered shouldn’t have a pet. Can’t afford the procedure? Then you can’t afford a pet.

“A complete lack of common sense here.”

Those are the words of Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood, commenting on the recent “trapped on the tarmac” ordeal of nearly 50 passengers in Rochester, Minnesota.

You may recall that the passengers were heading to Minneapolis on a Continental flight – operated by ExpressJet – when they diverted to Rochester due to storms. But no one let them off the plane.

Meanwhile, the ExpressJet crew has been more or less cast as the bad guys in this saga, for supposedly forcing their passengers to sit on that plane, for nine hours – but, according to LaHood, they were actually very good guys. In fact, they pleaded with people in the airport to let the passengers come in, but – nothin’ doin’. ExpressJet executives also got into the act, with the same result.

The problem, apparently, is that ExpressJet was talking to people from Mesabe Airlines – the only carrier with a staff left in the airport at that late hour – and maybe they’d been appointed official-phone-answerers, I don’t know – but the Mesabe-ites kept saying, the passengers couldn’t come in.

Sounds nuts to me. Where were the airport people? If they weren’t around, why didn’t anyone know how to get hold of them?

How about some new procedures – like, “every airport must have a hotline for after-hours problems” – and every crew member should have that hotline number.

Since I’m no genius, I have to believe someone else has thought of this before, so – why hasn’t it been done?

Sad and creepy story from the Washington Post, which points out that half of all scheduled flights in the U.S. today are operated by regional airlines. Piloted by people who make oh, maybe $20,000 to start -because the number of people flying has tanked and fares are cheap and pay has been cut.

How do you live on that? Crash pads.

Crash pads are temporary residences — like the suburban split level described in the Post that is the sometime home of 30 pilots, flight attendants, and other crew members. They’re packed into bunk beds – the basement sleeps 16, for example – and that’s how they live. A number of these guys describe themselves as “somewhat homeless”.

This is what happens when salaries are cut -or you’re transferred across the country from your “real home” – where the wife and kiddies live — and you don’t want to uproot them in case you’re transferred again. You do what you have to, to survive.

But hey, it’s not all doom and gloom – as a spokesman for one regional carrier says, the company supports “the right of our pilots to live where they choose…”

A California businessman on a flight from Hong Kong to LAX last year got into a bit of a scuffle (the AP story doesn’t name the airline) – and may be heading to prison.

He’s been convicted of interfering with a flight crew – a felony – and could face 20 years. Prosecutors said the man had been drinking when he punched an off-duty pilot (who was trying to restrain him) and then punched a flight attendant for good measure.

The convictee is now looking for a new trial – his lawyer says he had “a violent reaction to what he thought were sleeping pills purchased from a Chinese pharmacy, but the pills turned out to be Ambien.” Does that make sense? Anyone?

You remember “Catch Me if You Can” – the movie/book about Frank Abagnale, Jr – a one-time teen con-man who pretended to be an airline pilot? Sure you do – think, DiCaprio.

Anyway, a 17 year old lad from Yorkshire, England persuaded some British aviation officials that he was about to launch his own airline. He set up “virtual offices”, held meetings, wrote articles for industry publications and – was eventually found out.

Turns out the kid suffers from a form of autism that (according to his dad) gives him the “ability to recall the exact detail of every airline’s flight schedules” – plus he is a very “enterprising and creative individual”. However, this also tends to make the boy’s behavior “highly challenging.” I guess so.

Wouldn’t it be great if he could somehow harness all that energy and really make it work for him? I hope he does own his own airline someday. If anyone could do it – and do it right – I suspect it’s this kid.

83 year old Ralph Squeglia has been flying planes since 1944. But where has he been landing them?

Yesterday he brought his single engine plane down near Miami on the busy Sawgrass Expressway, and called it a “perfect landing”.

His definition of “perfect” must be a little different from mine. Let’s see – he did miss hitting all those cars, but he clipped a wing on a light pole, the plane’s tail wing broke off – and, oh yeah – think I mentioned this – HE LANDED ON A HIGHWAY.

Nothing in the article about why he landed there – but Mr. Squeglia is quoted twice regarding that “perfect landing” of his. Whatever. I’m glad no one was hurt.

Nobody’s quite sure why the driver of a construction vehicle at Boston’s Logan airport failed to stop at the runway like you’re supposed to, and why he failed to radio the control tower for permission to cross, like you’re supposed to.

He just headed on across runway, happy as can be – as US Airways Flight 27 was taking off for Phoenix. They came within seconds of an intense, fiery meeting. Near total fail.

Fortunately, the plane missed him, but this driver may be in a spot of trouble. The FAA is involved and nobody’s happy – I’m guessing the pilot who saw his life flashing before his eyes (and the lives of his 84 passengers) was probably unhappiest of all.

No word yet on why Mr. Oblivious drove where he drove, but one report says they will be looking into cell phone use. Or was he reading “Driving for Dummies” on his Kindle?

A British newspaper reports that Prince Harry (that’s His Royal Highness Prince Henry Charles Albert David of Wales, to you) is struggling with math.

Me, too, but then I’m not going to fly a helicopter – and he sure hopes to.

In fact, young Harry is studying to become an Apache pilot – “the elite role for a British military aviator”. The UK’s Telegraph quotes the prince as saying, “The flying courses are so intense. It’s surprised me.”

This is where I might make a lame comment or two – but, on second thought – not today. Not with that Air France jet missing over the Atlantic.

Ever hear of Gulfstream International Airlines? Nah, me either. But I probably should know it, so never mind.

In any event, it’s real, it’s based in Ft. Lauderdale, and it’s being considered for a $1.3 million fine by the FAA – so says the Wall St. Journal.

Pilots and other employees have alleged that the airline falsified records so Gulfstream pilots could work longer hours – longer hours than federal safety rules allow. The company has indicated there may have been one instance of this but it was not done with “the intent of skirting the rules.” Heck no!

Gee – tired pilots -

What more is there to say?

Information, as they say, is sketchy – but an American Airlines pilot did indeed fail a breath test at London’s Heathrow just before he was to pilot a plane to Chicago.

Apparently security staff as Heathrow noticed something amiss – alerted the police – and the unnamed pilot was tested. We are presuming this was for alcohol, but that is not known. The passengers had to cool their heels for awhile, as the airline had to hunt up a replacement.

I’d say it’s a good thing someone noticed something – the Chicago-bound flight carried 204 passengers – I can see the grim headlines now.

Stupid pilot. By drinking – or abusing another substance – you risked your career, your life, and the lives of so many others. Fortunately, you wound up only risking your career.

So tell us, pal- was it worth it?

This is kind of nice to report (well, the reporting was done by the New York Times, but you know what I mean): the survivors of that US Airways flight that landed in the Hudson in one piece, courtesy of Capt. Sully, are getting some of their their things back.

Now, of course, some of the stuff is pretty water-logged. And a lot of paper money appears to be missing, but – people are getting back some things that are in amazingly good shape, including clothes, laptops, jewelry, car keys and other stuff. I sure hope Capt. Sullenberger gets back that library book that he left on the plane.

The passengers are also getting an offer from the airline of $10,000 – if they promise not to sue. Some are not signing – at least for the moment.

What would you do?

Well, at least we know the system works!

Someone among the flight crew (who? who??) on an American Airlines plane heading to Miami Monday accidentally flipped the switch that means, hijacking underway!

Only, there wasn’t one. Nevertheless, as CNN reported, “two fighter jets were scrambled from Homestead Air Reserve Base, and police and fire-rescue units flooded the tarmac.”

Okay, so we know it works. But I wonder how much that “scramble” cost anyway? I ought to get an answer, since I paid for that mistake – and you did, and you did, and everybody who pays their taxes did…

Of course, the principals “can’t talk about the settlement”.

But thanks to the intrepid folks at the Seattle Times, we have some details about the suit filed by former United pilot Lisa Stout. It seems she kept finding pornographic photos of women in the cockpits of planes she’d fly. On more than 20 planes. Over the course of two years.

United reportedly saidexecs passed the word that employees should not be stashing any porn on any planes, but Capt. Stout said nothing much happened.

Best part of the suit? According to the Seattle Times, United argued that Stout, who was also an artist, shouldn’t have been offended by this crap since she “sometimes sketched nudes…and she had attended art shows displaying photos of nude women.” Please.

Meanwhile, if you want to read more, click here.

Poor Danny Boy - he’s a-wearing o’ the green, alright – but he’s stuck at LAX. Even worse, he’s getting thirsty.

Fear not, me boyo – the Los Angeles Times to the rescue with a new airport terminal guide for beer lovers – so you can get an infusion, fast.

For example, head to LAX Terminal 1 for some Gordon Biersch. In Philly, try the Jet Rock Bar and Grill (Concourses B, D and F) with 48 beers on draft. And in Portland, Oregon, they got Organic Tree-Hugger Porter (why am I not surprised?).

It may not be green, but why quibble? Oh, and remember – do not get drunk on a plane. You don’t want to end up like these guys, do you? And that goes double for you, pilots!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day. Yes, I know it’s tomorrow, but we Irish like to prepare.

Some surprising — dare I say, distressing? –comments from Capt. Chesley Sullenberger of Hero-on-the-Hudson fame.

He suggests – well, pretty much says – that airline pilots are poorly paid – or at least not paid anything like they used to be.

Now before you start getting all snarky on me, how would you feel about seeing your pay cut almost in half over the past seven or eight years?

Click on brother-blog RickSeaney’s take on it here – it has lots of surprising stuff on pilot pay. Really.

BTW — just what DO you guys make, anyway?

The heroic captain who gently crash-landed that US Airways plane in the Hudson yesterday – insuring the survival of all – went to a fine university.

What the heck, figured I’d mention it – since I previously noted that the infamous “runaway pilot” dude attended the very same school.

And as long as we’re on this Purdue/celebrity/aviation kick, I will note that another alum is Neil Armstrong (“that’s one small step…”).

What will those precocious Purduvians get up to next?

You have to love it: stunt pilot, rich guy, family man, and “affable charmer” – oh, yeah, and also alleged defrauder – my goodness, but Marcus Schrenker is in a spot of trouble.

I think jumping out of his plane and then letting it crash was his first mistake – or was that his 51^st?

Too bad – Schrenker went to a fine university. Plus, he used to be a cheerleader. Hey, so was Samuel L. Jackson – and George W. Bush!

Thanks to Joe Sharkey for this warm-and-fuzzy letter by a child on the occasion of the child’s first flight.

Cynics, get out your handkerchiefs.

Yes, little 8 year-old Nicole’s hand-written (and illustrated!) thank-you note to the pilot was really sweet.

Brought a tear to my eye.

Well, ’til the last line, anyway. Uh…as they say, may not be SFW.