Ugly story. Two pit bulls who were going to be shipped overseas on a Korean Air flight, got into a “vicious fight” in an air cargo building at Dulles; a cop tried to break up the fight with pepper spray, but it didn’t work and he wound up shooting the dogs.

These dogs were originally in separate kennels – but one chewed his way out, then chewed his way in to the other dog’s container – and the fight was on.

It’s not clear where these dogs were going, or what they were supposed to do when they got there…

Weird doings down in W. Palm Beach…

A Princess gambling “cruise to nowhere” is in port because its new captain doesn’t have a license.

The old captain was fired yesterday, which “set off a near-riot on the deck” according to the Palm Beach Post. In fact, the situation got so bad that Customs and Border folks called in extra security to make sure that the rioters – foreign nationals who live and work on the ship – didn’t get off the vessel, since they are not legally allowed on U.S. soil.

What prompted the pandemonium? According to the workers, pay cuts and poor working conditions – some said their checks have been late and bouncing, though the company denies that. Meanwhile, the company claims the old captain allegedly attempted to organize a strike, which is why a new one was brought in – though you might have thought they’d at least ask him if he was carrying his license with him. Hey, these days we all have to be concerned with our licenses.

Still with me? Well, yesterday’s cruise was cancelled for reasons of rioting; today’s was cancelled for lack of license.

Terribly sad story, from the UK.

A Egyptian woman who was flying from the U.S. to Kuwait was breastfeeding her baby when she fell asleep.

When she woke up, the child seemed lifeless. A doctor onboard worked on the four-week old girl, as the plane was diverted to Heathrow.

The child was taken to a nearby hospital and pronounced dead – she had been accidentally smothered.

A pilot at the controls of a Canada-based Porter Airlines flight out of Halifax lost consciousness during the weekend flight, and the co-pilot took charge and turned back.

Good thing he/she was there.

Anyway, nobody knows what was going on with the pilot, but mercifully, no one seems to think he had this pilot’s problem.

You remember the “laptoppers” – those two Northwest pilots that flew to Wisconsin, when they should have stopped a little earlier, like say, at their scheduled destination in Minnesota? They said they were too busy on their laptops (an excuse that cost them their pilot’s licenses).

Anyway, there weren’t the only ones out to lunch – the head of the FAA says the air traffic controllers are supposed to notify NORAD, the military air defense command, when they’re out of radio contact for ten minutes. How long did they wait? One hour and 9 minutes.

Nope, nothing happened – this time. But as has been mentioned elsewhere (like everywhere), a whole lot changed back on that Tuesday morning in September, 8 years ago…so, guys, just do your jobs, okay? Because you never know…

Did you know? According to India Today, it is NOT a criminal offense for a pilot in India to report to work drunk – which they sometimes do, especially at “festive seasons” including Christmas, New Year’s and Diwali.

This is from the article:

“It [drunk pilots] is an old issue,” said a retired pilot, after Air India had to scramble to replace an inebriated pilot on a Mumbai to New York run. He added that the airlines don’t want to take any harsh or punitive action against them, because “there is a shortage of experienced pilots”.

Uh…any pilots in India out there who would like to respond? I wish you would…

Whoa.

A Boston TV stations is reporting that the FBI has questioned two flight attendants (and maybe more) who were on an American Airlines flight yesterday – the flight where ?a “bomb threat” note was found in one of the aircraft’s lavatories.

Here’s the kicker: again, per Boston’s 7News, those same flight attendants (a man and a woman) were also questioned about a similar incident that occurred two weeks ago.

In both cases, nothing was found – but the incidents resulted in tedious delays for the passengers.

I’m kind of hoping it’s not the crew. I mean, if it is, well…how creepy is that?

Fish, fowl or fun-loving humans, we are all Somebody’s creatures – so the death of 4,000 tropical fish is not to be taken lightly (especially since they were worth about half a million dollars).

Cause of death: unclear. But the 15 hours it took to clear customs in brutal summer heat at the Black Sea resort of Sochi ought to tell you something, I suppose.

The picturesque piscinies (what — you never made up a word?) were heading toward Sochi Discovery World — Russia’s largest oceanarium – when tragedy struck. And it was a tragedy to the oceanarium’s director who called it an “atrocity unseen anywhere else in the world.”

Think I’ll beg to differ on that one…

If you like creepy critter stories, you’ve come to the right blog! See our previous posts about “pests on a plane” which include snakes – ticks – mice – crocodiles – and soap-swilling drunks.

A family flying Southwest from Phoenix to Indianapolis got a surprise during the flight – the dad was stung by a scorpion.

In case you’re wondering, he told ABC News that it felt “like being stung by 30 to 50 bees all at the same time”. Owwww.

Nobody’s sure how these scorpions (there were a few of them) got on the plane, but there are suspicions that they might have arrived via the family’s luggage – they are certainly common enough in Arizona – but nobody really seems to know.

Southwest arranged for medical treatment for Dad on arrival in Indianapolis – and he is reportedly going to be fine. But still – yuck.

Well, would you be happy?

As Gadling tells it, 70 passengers “refused to board their Thomas Cook plane in Mallorca, Spain this week because the airline had asked them to all sit in the back of the plane.”

Essentially, they were to act as ballast – a counterweight, if you will, for all the luggage that was stacked up in the front of the cabin. Why was it stacked there? Because the workers on the ground couldn’t get the rear cargo door open. I guess they lost the manual.

I suppose I would have been disturbed, too – but these folks then paid hundreds of dollars to fly other airlines home. Now that would have given me pause.

Nobody’s quite sure why the driver of a construction vehicle at Boston’s Logan airport failed to stop at the runway like you’re supposed to, and why he failed to radio the control tower for permission to cross, like you’re supposed to.

He just headed on across runway, happy as can be – as US Airways Flight 27 was taking off for Phoenix. They came within seconds of an intense, fiery meeting. Near total fail.

Fortunately, the plane missed him, but this driver may be in a spot of trouble. The FAA is involved and nobody’s happy – I’m guessing the pilot who saw his life flashing before his eyes (and the lives of his 84 passengers) was probably unhappiest of all.

No word yet on why Mr. Oblivious drove where he drove, but one report says they will be looking into cell phone use. Or was he reading “Driving for Dummies” on his Kindle?

I saw this and thought, “What a good idea!” Then I saw the price tag. Well…

The product is called, Ekosteps – we’re talking disposable footwear – sort of a thong type of deal made from recycled paper. Picture thin-soled cardboard-ish flip flops. Or just look at the photo to the left.

Forget fashion, this is about function: Ekosteps are meant to protect your bare feet after you’ve put your shoes on the conveyor belt at security and now must make the trek through the metal detector in your socks, or worse, barefoot. Barefoot across a floor where oh so many other bare feet have already passed (ewwwwwww). Best of all, these are TSA approved!

These unisex Ekosteps are sold in packages of five pairs for $19.99 – and shipping will cost you another ten bucks. You can get more information from the Ekosteps website here.

Loved the piece about them in the Dallas Morning News – they noted that while these paper sandals are meant for one-time use, Ekosteps CEO Orin France said he’s worn a single pair “in daily activities for as long as two weeks.”

I want to know what “daily activities” means. Did he wear them to some swanky place for lunch? Was it raining?

You remember the “Miracle on the Hudson” – a splashy landing precipitated by Canada geese that got sucked into the aircraft’s engines.

Now, the geese must go.

Federal and local agencies begin a fairly aggressive goose-removal policy next week that will result in the demise of some 2,000 of the birds from scores of parks – all within five miles of New York airports.

Some critics say, why bother? One expert is quoted in a New York Times report as saying that 2,000 is a tiny fraction of the number of geese in the area – and that little will be accomplished without a long-term wild fowl management plan. Others say – it’s a good start.

Meanwhile, the geese — we are told –will be “humanely” euthanized.

Dude! Whatta ya doin’ in there? Oh…never mind.

Apparently, a cigarette had nothing to do with it – but something was smoking on the Boeing 767 – and officials think it was actually the bathroom fan.

The American Airlines jetliner had been heading from New York to Zurich but made an emergency landing in Nova Scotia when smoke got in the cabin.

This was Tuesday night. I’d like to think that all 210 passengers are now happily yodeling in the Alps by now.

Ever hear of Gulfstream International Airlines? Nah, me either. But I probably should know it, so never mind.

In any event, it’s real, it’s based in Ft. Lauderdale, and it’s being considered for a $1.3 million fine by the FAA – so says the Wall St. Journal.

Pilots and other employees have alleged that the airline falsified records so Gulfstream pilots could work longer hours – longer hours than federal safety rules allow. The company has indicated there may have been one instance of this but it was not done with “the intent of skirting the rules.” Heck no!

Gee – tired pilots -

What more is there to say?

I know I’m going to take some flak for this, but – when perusing the latest “Hints from Heloise”, I came across this tip:

“Dear Heloise: My husband and I each wear something like the military DOG TAGS. We have our name, city, state, date of birth, blood type, spouse’s name and phone number on one side, and on the other side we have the names of our daughter and son and sister, with the states and phone numbers. We wear these when traveling on vacation – almost every time we leave the house.” – Bonnie, Irvine, Calif.

Heloise seemed to think it was a good idea (“Maybe we should call them ‘people tags’!”) – but my first thought was – with all the info she put on them, Bonnie’s dog tags must hang down to her knees.

My second thought was – kind of macabre, no? I mean it’s perfect if you anticipate disaster. On the other hand, you might as well. I guess.

Unfortunately, some folks broke this golden rule on Northwest Flt 51 from Frankfurt to Detroit on March 10 – and now, the government’s after them!

Well, government in the form of the Centers for Disease Control – because one of the passengers on the flight had tuberculosis – TB.

The CDC is looking for 17 people seated near the Typhoid Mary (Tuberculosis Tom?). And why, you may ask, is the CDC (literally) making a federal case of this? Cuz these 17 are at risk of infection – though the CDC says, that risk is “low”.

Well, that’s perfectly clear!

But if I was on that plane, I think I’d give them a call. And try to remember my seat number.

A magician who goes by the name “Wade Live” shipped himself from Syracuse to Las Vegas via UPS, as a publicity stunt (though I don’t think he got much publicity – this happened back in November).

All went well, according to the AP account – except for boredom (he had food and drink in his wooden crate but it’s unclear if there was a bathroom in there)-however – now the TSA and FBI are investigating. Some think it’s a hoax.

Is it possible to ship yourself by cargo? Apparently so – in 2003, a 25-year old Bronx man shipped himself from Newark to Dallas – because he was looking for a cheap way to visit his parents.

While I applaud his filial devotion, such stunts can be incredibly dangerous because of the extreme cold in cargo planes and little pressurization. And, it’s not necessarily cheap. The AP reporter covering the magician’s trip figured that his journey probably cost about $4,500!

If only he’d come the FareCompare first…

We’ve all seen those cheery posts – “Top Ten Tips 4 Not Croaking in a Crash” – or something like that.

But here’s the real deal: a nuanced, practical guide to surviving a plane crash – written by an intelligent and imaginative reporter named Tim Jepson of Canada’s Daily Telegraph. Don’t do anything else today, until you read this. Really. It could save your life.

Among Jepson’s findings:

• Protect your legs: a lot of people die in crashes simply because their legs or ankles have been broken and they cannot get out of the plane. DO THIS: “Hold your legs and/or place feet flat on the floor, preferably farther back than your knees, and place hand luggage under the seat in front of you to act as a cushion.”

• Brace yourself carefully: but that’s very tricky in coach – sometimes there’s just not enough room to do what the flight attendants say. DO THIS: “Get your torso as low as possible to reduce the jackknife effect at impact.”

• Avoid smoke: fire and smoke are deadly, and you’ve got to cover your nose and mouth with something wet. DO THIS: Use a handkerchief or rip up some of your clothing for a cloth – and “if no water is available, use urine. This is a matter of life and death – it’s no time to be fastidious.”

• Move: typically, you have 2 minutes or less to get out of a crashed plane alive – but something called “negative panic” may affect you, causing you to sit and wait for orders. DO THIS: Move – force yourself to move, and order those around you to do the same.

There is so much more, so –read it. I’m sure you will never use any of this information. But I’m sure no one ever expected to be standing on the wings of a plane in the Hudson, either…

An Australian man is in jail, after he “faked” being an engineer for Qantas — for almost a year (and thank you, gadling, for the tip).

Apparently this guy forged an engineer’s license, posed as a supervising airline engineer, and inspected 747’s.

Sort of like the Leonardo DiCaprio character in “Catch Me If You Can” — well, sort of — Leo probably couldn’t have killed anybody and this inspector wacko could have. Think about it.

And while you’re at it, think about why he pretended to be an airline engineer. An astronaut, I could see that. A cowboy, absolutely. An engineer? I don’t think so…

An Australian and a Swede were flying over the Arctic (Northern Canada) when their twin-engine Cessna failed, so they crash landed on a slab of ice.

Only the ice wasn’t real sturdy, and plane and ice began to sink.

They hopped out and managed to jump onto another sheet of ice — measuring all of 16 ft by 32 ft. Fortunately, that one didn’t sink or they would have been in big trouble.

Not that sitting on an ice floe overnight was a walk in the park. Temperatures could best be described as “high-end refrigerator” — you know — Sub-Zero.

Anyway, along comes daylight, and they — get this — hopped from one ice sheet to another, til they finally reached the shore (at Iqaluit, Nunavut). Eventually a passing fishing boat saw them and picked them up.

Tough guys.

An official who works in India’s “food and civil supplies department” arrived too late to board his Kingfisher Airlines flight from Patna to Kolkata.

How does he handle the disappointment? According to the India Times, he simply found the airport manager, and – beat him up.

The politician denied this, even though he beat the guy up (allegedly, allegedly) in a lounge filled with witnesses.

Apparently, Indian journalists are used to these kinds of stories, and they don’t like them – this latest report began thusly: “In yet another instance of arrogance of power tempting politicians to bend rules and resort to high-handedness…”

Now, here’s a happy ending for you:

Two small planes collided yesterday, about 10,000 feet in the air near Grand Junction, Colorado and – no deaths, no injuries, no big deal.

The sheriff called it a “miracle” and while I believe that word has been so over-used as to be rendered meaningless, I must say that this situation is, well, okay…miraculous.

A minor note: one of those plans was transporting a couple of prison inmates. Once they figured out they were in fact going to live through the collision, I suppose escape was on their minds (would be on mine) but apparently all pilots and passengers have been accounted for.

So for some, not a totally happy ending.

Well, we can all relax. That allegedly creepy guy who tied up the hands of a 16 year old girl (who was watching over her 9-year old sister) was engaging in nothing more than “horseplay”. Ergo, nothing bad happened – so – let the guy go!

Not so fast, said the U.S. Magistrate in Denver – she said there was enough evidence against the guy to move forward with assault charges.

One of the reasons the guy’s lawyer urged that the charges be dismissed was that “the girls didn’t scream.”

I like to point out that teenagers can be too embarrassed to scream. They shouldn’t be, but it happens.

Here’s a weird one:

Some 29 year old guy seated next to two teenage sisters on a Southwest flight from San Diego to Denver – bound one of the kid’s hands together - yeah, he tied her up. Fortunately, the older sister managed to free her. The guy then tries to tie up the older girl, but it didn’t work. Apparently, this dark little episode went on for some time.

Did no one notice? Were these kids too afraid – or too embarrassed – to scream?

The finale: According to the AP account of this incident, “a flight attendant who saw what was happening then moved the two girls to a different row…[and the weirdo] was allowed to stay on the flight.”

I find that strange – but I find it even stranger that THE GUY WASN’T ARRESTED UNTIL A WEEK LATER. Supposedly he was drunk – like that’s an excuse. This whole story stinks. But I do have a final thought:

Hey, parents – teach your kids to SCREAM when something bad happens - and if they’re not sure it fits the definition of the word “bad” — have them scream anyway. Girls and boys — teach ‘em both.