This is sad.

A fellow had a ticket to fly Southwest for his uncle’s funeral.

Fellow weighs 400 pounds. He said he could fit in the seat, that he flies “all the time” and said he’d even sit with his arms crossed over his chest to avoid bothering anyone.

Southwest said no, that he was just too big, and said he’d have to buy a second seat. The guy says, fine. Problem: there is no second seat. The flight is booked. Man misses funeral.

A lot of flights are booked solid these days, particularly during holiday periods. Here’s what the man should have done, according to Southwest’s “guidelines for customers of size“: he should have pro-actively booked two seats in advance. Guess he’ll know next time.

The guy says Southwest is giving him a refund. Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick, I guess.

Saw this on Channel 2 out of Chicago…

A 6 foot, 350 pound man is not happy with Southwest Airlines. Apparently the airline allowed Emery Orto to fly from Midway to Las Vegas, no problem, but stopped him as he was boarding the flight home and asked, “Can you put the armrests down when seated?”

He said he could, but Southwest ultimately grounded him anyway. Orto called this “humiliating” (but apparently it was not so humiliating that he passed up a chance to go on TV).

His main complaint: Southwest never “tested” him on the “putting-the-armrests-down” trick, but there’s more to the “passenger of size” rule at Southwest and other airlines – a policy that’s been around for years. Orto seemed to suggest that he wasn’t familiar with it – and in his defense, he was allowed to fly to Las Vegas.

Southwest told Ch. 2 that was a “mistake”. But they also said, the real issue with Orto was “anger” – that he was arguing with an “elevated voice” in a belligerent tone, and that other passengers weren’t comfortable flying with Orto after watching him lose his temper.

Orto meanwhile is talking about his “pain and suffering” and we all know where that’s going. Meanwhile, maybe the airlines better just suck it up and come out with specific height/weight/size charts – and no more guessing games.

Sort of a she-said, she-said deal here.

The scene: A JetBlue plane from New York to Seattle, last November.

The action: A 69 year old Seattle area woman said she is the victim of racism and anti-Muslim bias because she was not allowed to stretch out on a row of empty seats and take a snooze – as others were allowed to do.

The JetBlue flight attendant said she could not stay in her row of choice because it was an exit row and the woman was handicapped by limited English and physical limitations – but according to the Seattle Times report she was offered other empty rows to recline in. The passenger, a native of Pakistan, does not address this issue in the article.

More charges – the woman claims she was manhandled by crew members as she was escorted back to her assigned seat – and the flight attendant says the woman bruised her by grabbing her arm. The passenger also was said to be “unruly” and yelled and screamed at one point.

Bottom line: I suspect the language barrier was the real problem here. But – is that an excuse?

Okay, Christmas is coming — and you need a gift for that “aviation or travel enthusiast”.

Here’s the solution: a book called “Jetliner Cabins” by Jennifer Coutts Clay. It’s about — jetliner cabins. According to the press release, “readers will find in the 16 chapters information about everything from safety, seat design, and fabric selection to meal service, accessibility and maintenance in first-, business- and economy-class cabins.”

Fabric selection — fabulousity! I will leave you with some final thoughts from the author:

“What do passengers get for their money? How are new products, such as sleeper seats and lounge bars, integrated into existing floor plans? Why do some cabin environments feel more welcoming than others? This book is where readers will find answers to some of these difficult questions.” –Jennifer Coutts Clay, “Jetliner Cabins”

I can answer one difficult question — according to the press release, the book goes for $55.

The lovely Consumerist site features a pretty good complaint from a…consumer. A consumer of Northwest Airlines flights.

Here’s the deal: said consumer paid $30 each way to be upgraded to the glories of NWA’s “Coach Choice”. Figured, cool, I’ll travel in style! I’ll get more leg room! But what did this poor sap get? Not much — but let consumer tell it:

“No more legroom! No extra width! No better service! Hell, they’re not even at the front of the cabin! (Mine were row 28).”

He/she should have read the “Coach Choice” FAQ’s on NWA’s website before shelling out that cash:

Q: What is Coach Choice?
A: Coach Choice is designed to provide added choice and comfort, particularly to late-booking business travelers, by saving some preferred coach seat assignments until check-in. For a modest fee, customers can confirm reserved exit, aisle and window seats at nwa.com or Self-Service Check-in Kiosks 24 hours prior to departure.

US Airways is now making us pay for the privilege of sitting down. Really. Well, no. But…

…but they are making you pay a minimum of $5 per-flight-leg for the aisle and window seats in the front of the plane (and if you want all the details, click here–or here–quite frankly, I’m just too upset to go into it).

But, why stop there? What else can they charge us for? How about a buck to sit next to the lavatory? Or a $2 fee for an aisle seat in the last row? Or maybe an in-flight raffle? Prize: the co-pilot’s seat (now you’re talkin’!).

But what am I doing, giving US Airways all this genius-like free advice? Somebody should be paying ME. US Airways, you know where to find me.