You remember the “laptoppers” – those two Northwest pilots that flew to Wisconsin, when they should have stopped a little earlier, like say, at their scheduled destination in Minnesota? They said they were too busy on their laptops (an excuse that cost them their pilot’s licenses).

Anyway, there weren’t the only ones out to lunch – the head of the FAA says the air traffic controllers are supposed to notify NORAD, the military air defense command, when they’re out of radio contact for ten minutes. How long did they wait? One hour and 9 minutes.

Nope, nothing happened – this time. But as has been mentioned elsewhere (like everywhere), a whole lot changed back on that Tuesday morning in September, 8 years ago…so, guys, just do your jobs, okay? Because you never know…

I know the world is waiting on this one.

According to TMZ (and say what you like, they were right on Michael Jackson), Britney Spears seemed to sweep through security at LAX with an exceedingly large cup (Big Gulp?) that she put to her mouth again and again.

And as we all know, TSA rules say, bringing liquid thru security is a no-no.

Good news, though – TMZ updated their post to say Britney’s cup contained ice chips - so it was okay!

And indeed, on the video, she can in fact be seen crunching after taking a “swig”.

Goodness gracious, weren’t we just talking about the Snoopster and his penchant for airport hijinks?

Well, it’s happened again – at Beirut International. Seems, rapper Snoop Dogg was there, heading out after a concert in Lebanon, when he was stopped by security.

Mr. Dogg was wearing a necklace of old bullet casings – no, no, it’s not what you think – this is the latest thing from a company called Bullets 4 Peace, which sells artistic ammo pieces (like the one at left – price: $275). Some of the money is said to go to charity but I don’t know how much or to what charities (though the site does feature a logo for one of Madonna’s pet causes).

Anyway, hard to believe, but bullets are still no laughing matter in Lebanon, so there was a bit of an “issue” and the Doggalator’s necklace was confiscated.

Wonder why a guy with his airport history doesn’t just break down and get a private plane?

Whoa.

A Boston TV stations is reporting that the FBI has questioned two flight attendants (and maybe more) who were on an American Airlines flight yesterday – the flight where ?a “bomb threat” note was found in one of the aircraft’s lavatories.

Here’s the kicker: again, per Boston’s 7News, those same flight attendants (a man and a woman) were also questioned about a similar incident that occurred two weeks ago.

In both cases, nothing was found – but the incidents resulted in tedious delays for the passengers.

I’m kind of hoping it’s not the crew. I mean, if it is, well…how creepy is that?

Hard to believe it’s been eight years since a group of murderers hijacked all those planes and killed all those people.

Eight years. Incredible. And yet — time does its work. The sharp searing horror is starting to fade. And the millions who have been born since then will never have our memories – and never quite understand how many hearts were broken that day.

I hate it — but I know the time will come when this shattering day will seem as remote and dusty as Lincoln’s assassination – just another historical fact to be memorized by bored-out-of-their-minds school children.

But today – we remember.

Pamela Anderson as a TSA officer?

Yes, that’s in the new TV commercial by the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) – and that’s not all. Look for plenty of washboard abs, zipper pulling and naked couples.

Tons of visual overload in this one – only, it’s not playing in airports as PETA envisioned -no one will run it. Or is that what they had in mind all along? Making it a viral sensation instead?

If you must see the ad, I’m sure you can find it, but don’t look for it here. I like to think of this as a family values blog, the main value being, don’t do naked stuff for the cameras.

Ah, gotta love the first line in the Philadelphia Inquirer’s story:

“When regular folks get questioned by airport officials, we miss our plane. When it happens to Bollywood superstar Shah Rukh Khan, fans burn U.S. flags…” -Philadelphia Inquirer, Aug. 17, 2009

So what happened? Mr. Khan, who came to this country to promote a movie, was questioned as part of a routine process that took about an hour – which caused an uproar among his many fans who called his treatment “shocking” and “disturbing” and “racist” (according to the Inquirer, in India it’s considered a status symbol to avoid certain security procedures at airports).

The Philly paper quoted a customs official who said what happened to Khan is part of the “routine process” for anyone wishing to enter the U.S., and that it took as long as it did because – while his papers were all in order – the airline lost his bag!

The officials declined to name the airline. Later, Khan said he understood that this was a procedure that needed to be followed, but that it’s an “unfortunate procedure”. Amen, brother.

You may remember the tale of these two fellows -if not, check this out – it’s a good read.

One of them was – allegedly – a rogue airline employee of US Airways. His buddy (and roommate) was a passenger on US Airways. Together, police say, they pulled the old switcheroo by exchanging carryon bags at the gate — so the passenger could board his plane with a handgun on him.

Both have now been formally charged in federal court.

Both are out on bail. I don’t know what else going on in the life and times of Mr. Passenger but Mr. Airline Employee is now Mr. Ex-Employee.

I saw this and thought, “What a good idea!” Then I saw the price tag. Well…

The product is called, Ekosteps – we’re talking disposable footwear – sort of a thong type of deal made from recycled paper. Picture thin-soled cardboard-ish flip flops. Or just look at the photo to the left.

Forget fashion, this is about function: Ekosteps are meant to protect your bare feet after you’ve put your shoes on the conveyor belt at security and now must make the trek through the metal detector in your socks, or worse, barefoot. Barefoot across a floor where oh so many other bare feet have already passed (ewwwwwww). Best of all, these are TSA approved!

These unisex Ekosteps are sold in packages of five pairs for $19.99 – and shipping will cost you another ten bucks. You can get more information from the Ekosteps website here.

Loved the piece about them in the Dallas Morning News – they noted that while these paper sandals are meant for one-time use, Ekosteps CEO Orin France said he’s worn a single pair “in daily activities for as long as two weeks.”

I want to know what “daily activities” means. Did he wear them to some swanky place for lunch? Was it raining?

Well, at least we know the system works!

Someone among the flight crew (who? who??) on an American Airlines plane heading to Miami Monday accidentally flipped the switch that means, hijacking underway!

Only, there wasn’t one. Nevertheless, as CNN reported, “two fighter jets were scrambled from Homestead Air Reserve Base, and police and fire-rescue units flooded the tarmac.”

Okay, so we know it works. But I wonder how much that “scramble” cost anyway? I ought to get an answer, since I paid for that mistake – and you did, and you did, and everybody who pays their taxes did…