Oh, my. Last month, a woman on an Aeroflot flight from Moscow to LA was experiencing pain in her chest, and collapsed just as the jet began its descent.

Turns out one of her breast implants burst.

Now, ladies, before you get all uh, bent out of shape, doctors said that while the pressure differential may have had something to do with the woman’s predicament - the main problem seemed to be that her implant had been “damaged” before the flight. That’s according to reports I saw (and the woman is said to have recovered nicely).

Some bloggers have noted that the woman came to the right place. Yes, I know some of you will say, “South America is the capital of plastic surgery!” but we know Los Angeles is THE place for plastic. Good and bad.

It starts off like a real hoo-hah - a passenger onboard a US Airways flight from Charlotte to Los Angeles- a 50 year old man from the Bronx - decides to take his clothes off. Every stitch.

This is where one would normally make a reference to Air New Zealand’s TV ad featuring crew members wearing nothing more than a coat of paint.

However…it seems pretty clear this guy was mentally ill. He later told the FBI in Albuquerque (where the plane diverted because the fellow would not put his clothes back on) that he hadn’t taken his medication, and he had no memory of anything he’d done on the flight.

Something else to consider: before the flight took off from Charlotte, a “flight service supervisor” with US Airways saw this man “dancing in a crowded boarding area” but determined he had not been drinking, ergo he was good to go on the flight.

I realize flight crews/gate agents are not trained psychologists, but I might dig a little deeper if I saw some poor guy dancing (and presumably making a spectacle of himself) in public. Should he have flown? Clearly not. But who was watching out for this guy? No one.

Sure, Los Angeles’ LAX is noisy - it’s an airport, for pete’s sake!

And it’s also noisy at Van Nuys (private planes) and Ontario, too. But too much noise is bad, so - thank goodness for WebTrak!

WebTrak is “a new online noise complaint system…for resident living near the [LA area] facilities”. According to a local wire service, it’s an easy way to report your complaints.

Well…not all that easy. It took some doing to find this new WebTrak on the Los Angeles International website - so here’s the link to the LAX info, save you some time - but once there, you get a cool map with little planes on it, showing them merrily take-offing and landing. Nice.

Problem is, I can’t figure out what they do with complaints. It doesn’t say. Surely, someone reads them. Hope so, but…somehow, I figure the residents of Torrance and Playa Del Rey and Inglewood aren’t going to be getting any decibel relief anytime soon. Hope I’m wrong.

Who doesn’t love Guy Fieri? He’s always so - so happy.

But I guess I would be too if I could travel the country for the Food Network and eat things like Krazy Jim’s Blimpy Burger or Sweetie Pie’s Mac and Cheese.

Well, next time you’re on the road (or smashed between two sumo wrestlers in that comfy middle seat), check out this handy site - to find one of Guy’s Diners, Drive-ins or Dives - near you!

And here’s a tip for you Road Warriors out there - next time you have to take the CEO out to dinner, ditch the faux-French bistro in favor of one of these joints. You’ll be flying in the company jet in no time.

Thanks, Gadling - for once again showing the way.

A man aboard a JetBlue flight from New York to New Orleans last February (just a few days before Mardi Gras) - threw a what appeared to be a drunken fit on the plane, and could face some heavy time. Like, 29 years. Plus a million dollar fine.

That’s because the drunk in question - alleged drunk - made the mistake of claiming to be an Air Marshal. That’s called, impersonating a federal officer. He also claimed to be an airline pilot, and who knows what else.

Flight attendants said the man was loud and disruptive, as well as threatening. And he used the “b” word, the one that rhymes with rich.

Nola.com reports that a trial date (in New York) has been set for August.

Two rules to live by: Don’t get drunk on a plane. Don’t show up drunk. Don’t be stupid. Okay, that’s three rules, big deal.

Make that, walk and chew gum - at the same time!

It hadn’t been possible before at the fancy-schmancy Palm Beach International Airport in Florida because they banned gum sales for the past 20 years (”maintenance nightmare” according to ABC).

Until now, that is. What changed? Well, like most things, it all came down to filthy lucre.

You see, people like to buy and chew gum - and at least one shop at the airport estimated gum sales could bring in an additional $225,000 each year. Apparently, the county commissioners were moved by the shop’s plight - especially when someone pointed out that county itself could get an extra 50-grand from that revenue.

Ban lifted. Chomp away.

Yes, only in Idaho (I think) can you stay in a giant Beagle.

Just go to the Dog Bark Park Inn in Cottonwood, Idaho (population 942); the inn only has the one unit - the giant dog (seen at left, with smaller “decorative” dog beside it) - but they call it a B&B anyway, and it’s yours for $92 a night.

Amenities? Well - they have no phones, no TV - but they do have a nice breakfast, thick fluffy towels - and a nifty gift shop, where you can buy wooden Beagle statues (or other dogs) - all hand-carved by the proprietors using chainsaws. They’re a manly breed out in Idaho, you better believe it.

And yes, the Dog Bark Park Inn is pet-friendly. Bring Sparky and BoBo.

So retro - in a good way. And why not? Beagles are the most charming of dogs.

Thanks to the Los Angeles Times for finding this gem.

UPDATE: Gov. went to Buenos Aires, Argentina! Has now returned. Weird.

EARLIER: Fascinating case about “missing” South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford - and for those of you who think this is some sort of a liberal plot, I say ANY governor who takes off without security to parts unknown - at least, unknown (it seems) to spouse and staff - is asking for some scrutiny.

Especially since the story seems to keep changing. First, Sanford is hiking on the Appalachian Trail, and then he’s at Atlanta’s airport (according to a newshound over at Greenville’s WYFF News 4).

My theory: The governor was at Hartsfield-Jackson, because he found a great deal from FareCompare via Twitter - by following tweets from his home airport, @flyfromATL - and you can do the same, no matter where your airport is, by signing up here.

I’m sure that’s what happened - goodness knows it beats Mrs. Sanford’s statement, that the guv “was writing something and wanted some space to get away from the kids.” Ahem. You will recall that part of this disappearing act took place over Father’s Day.

Well, would you be happy?

As Gadling tells it, 70 passengers “refused to board their Thomas Cook plane in Mallorca, Spain this week because the airline had asked them to all sit in the back of the plane.”

Essentially, they were to act as ballast - a counterweight, if you will, for all the luggage that was stacked up in the front of the cabin. Why was it stacked there? Because the workers on the ground couldn’t get the rear cargo door open. I guess they lost the manual.

I suppose I would have been disturbed, too - but these folks then paid hundreds of dollars to fly other airlines home. Now that would have given me pause.

83 year old Ralph Squeglia has been flying planes since 1944. But where has he been landing them?

Yesterday he brought his single engine plane down near Miami on the busy Sawgrass Expressway, and called it a “perfect landing”.

His definition of “perfect” must be a little different from mine. Let’s see - he did miss hitting all those cars, but he clipped a wing on a light pole, the plane’s tail wing broke off - and, oh yeah - think I mentioned this - HE LANDED ON A HIGHWAY.

Nothing in the article about why he landed there - but Mr. Squeglia is quoted twice regarding that “perfect landing” of his. Whatever. I’m glad no one was hurt.